Monday, December 31, 2012

Rahe Salaamat Zindagi Unki

new year quotes

Rahe Salaamat zindagi unki jo meri khusi ki fariyaad karte hain,

A khuda unki zindagi khusiyo se bharde,

jo mujhe yaad karne mein apna ek pal barbad karte hain.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year

happy new year wishes

In The Universal Bank of God,
God stores his blessings & deposited 365 days full of love,
faith & happiness for you.
So, Enjoy spending.

Wish U A Happy New Year..


Wishing You a Fabulous Year

Punishment For Rape

Punishment For Rape
Punishment for Rape:

1) UAE- Instant Death Penaltywithin 7 days hanging

2) Iran- Instant Stoned to death/hanging with 24 hrs

3) Afghanistan - Instant death by bullet on head within 4 days

4) China - No Trial, Medical proved rape then Death Penalty

5) Malaysia - Death Penalty

6) Mangolia - Death as revenge by family

7) Iraq - Death by stone till last breath

8)Taliban - Limbs/ Legs/ Balls All Cut Off,&then stoned&then shot

9) Poland - Death thrown to Pigs

10) INDIA -.............. ­............... ­.............!
.
.
4 times gov food daily & 24*7 police security
for 7-14 years..!!! funny but fact.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Mahatma Gandhi Once Said


Mahatma Gandhi once said,"The day a woman can walk freely on the roads at night, that day we can say that India has achieved Independence". When countrymen don't protect their women, that country will never come up. The term Super Power is not in military strength.. it is about how we treat, respect each other.

Damini, May your soul rest in peace and we keep you in our prayers.

Friday, December 28, 2012

A Sad Love Story

A Sad Love Story
A SAD Love Story: Must - Read There Were Two Lovers Who Decided To End Their Relationship.

After Many Years When The Boy Got Married, Her Ex G.F Approached Him & Said: "How Dare You Use My Favorite Color As The Theme Of Your Wedding..! How Dare You Use My Favorite Flowers As Your Decoration! How Dare You SetThe Date I Proposed You As Your Wedding Day... & How Dare You Use Our Song For The Ceremony ??

The Boy Cried & Said: "Because This Is The Only Way I Could Pretend To My Heart That I'm Getting Married To YOU.!!"

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Most Awaited Bollywood Movies in 2013


Which Bollywood Film is your most awaited among 2013 releases ?

1-Dhoom 3 ( Aamir, Katrina )

2-Murder 3 ( Randeep, Aditi )

3-Bullet Raja ( Saif, Sonakshi)

4-Krrish 3 ( Hrithik, Priyanka)

5-Lootera ( Ranveer, Sonakshi )

6-Ragini MMS 2 ( Sunny Leone )

7-Ram Leela ( Ranveer, Deepika )

8-Sher Khan ( Salman )

9-Phata Poster Nikla Hero ( Shahid, Ileana )

10-Gunday ( Ranveer, Arjun, Priyanka )

11-Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola ( Imran, Anushka )

12-Once Upon A Time Again ( Akshay, Imran, Sonakshi )

13-Shootout at Wadala ( John, Kangna )

14-Namak ( Shahid, Sonakshi)

15-Bombay Velvet ( Ranbir, Anushka )

16-Ek Thi Dayan ( Emraan, Kankona, Kalki )

17-P.K ( Aamir, Anushka )

18-Special Chabbis ( Akshay, Kajal )

19-Milan Talkies ( Imran, Priyanka )

20-Zanjeer ( Ram Charan, Priyanka, Sanjay )

21-Ghanchakkar ( Emraan, Vidya )

22-Chennai Express ( Shah Rukh, Deepika )

23-Happy New Year ( Shah Rukh )

24-Satyagraha ( Ajay, Big B, Kareena )

25-Bhaag Milkha Bhaag ( Farhan, Sonam )

26-Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani ( Ranbir, Deepika )

27-Race 2 ( Saif, John, Deepika, Jacqueline )

28-Naam Hai Boss ( Akshay )

29-Himmatwala ( Ajay, Tamanna )

30-Siddharth Anand Next ( Hrithik, Katrina )

AND SHARE IT WITH OTHERS

Son To Father

Son To Father
Son: Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl

Father: "That's great son. Who is she?

Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"

Father: "Oh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.

Sandra is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later,

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!"

Father: "That's great son, Who is she?"

Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter,

Father:"Oh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister."

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: "Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I
can't date any of them because dad is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want.

Dont listen to him He isn't your father."
Son Fainted...!!!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Media To Shoaib Malik

Media To Shoaib Malik
Pakistan cricketers who dont know English,
prepare answers, after match for media asking.

One day after a match with Shoaib malik...

Media :"So Malik, thats fantastic, your wife sania is pregnant."
Malik:"Ya all credit goes to my team. Everyone worked hard for it, specially Afridi.
It was a tight situation when he went in. His performance was really fantastic with Razak in the middle. Also the crowd gathered to watch his work, our coach also have enjoyed it, they work hard day & night all credit goes to my coach & my teammates & special thanks to sania who supported me 4 this job "
Media speechless..

Couple Silent in Bed

Couple Silent in Bed
Couple silent in bed...
Wife thinks : Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight at the wrong places?
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?

Husband thinks :
.
.
Dhoni ne last over Jadeja ko kyu diya.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

25 ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE

25 ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE
25 ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE!!!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate anti depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out chargecard.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything !

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12.You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

17. Help the needy, Be generous ! Be a 'Giver' not a 'Taker'

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. Time heals everything.

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed, Pray to God and Be thankful for what you'll accomplish, today !

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. Fwd this to everyone on your list to help them lead a happier life..

Monday, December 24, 2012

Chhote Sahibzade

chaar sahibzaade
Ajj Oh Din hai jis din DHAN DHAN SAHIB SHRI GURU GOBIND SINGH JI DE SATKAAR JOG MATA GUJAR KAUR JI nd SATKAAR JOG CHOTTE SAHIBZADE BABA JORAVAR SINGH nd BABA FATEH SINGH jina nu ajj pehle din thande burj vich kaid kitta C.

Dhan c Oh Nikke Nikke Komal Hirde Jihna ne Eni
Thand Vich Thande Buraj Vich Reh k Sikhi
Sidak Nhi Hareya ......te Apne Wal Jhati Maar k Dekhiye k kithe k khde hn Apa...

Ki bhora v Nikke Nikke
Sahizadeya di Sheedi nu Yaad kr k Aah Pei Rhi Thand Nu Mehsoos krde hoye kyu nhi Sikhi Sroop nal jurde.....

Ki Apa Nu Dukh Nhi Lagda???

Ja Fer Saade Lyi Kes Katal Kr K Rambo Romio banna Jruri aa??

Merry Christmas Wishes



May all d Sweet Magic of Christmas Conspire to Gladden your HEARTS
and fulfill your every DESIRE......

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2018

Sunday, December 23, 2012

I See Myself when i See Sachin

I See Myself when i See Sachin
"I c myself when i c Sachin batting.- Don Bradman(AUS)

"I want my son to become Sachin Tendulkar." -Brian Lara(WI)

''V did not lose 2 a team called India,
v lost 2 a man called Sachin'' - Mark Taylor(aus)

'Nothing bad can happen 2 us if v were on a plane in India wid Sachin Tendulkar on it.''-Hashim Amla(SA)

''He can play that leg glance with a walking stick also. -Waqar Younis (Pak)

''There r 2 kind of batsman in the world.
1 Sachin Tendulkar and 2. all the others .
-Andy Flower(ZIM)

"I have seen God. He bats at no.4 for India in tests. -Matthew Hayden (AUS.)

"Do your crime when Sachin is batting,
bcos even God is busy
watching his batting. -Australian Fan

GOD'S LAST BIG SHOT: An upper cut for six in the Asia Cup game between India and Pakistan at Mirpur, March 18, 2012. India won that game.
So, Sachin Tendulkar leaves the ODI stage on a winning note.
Go well, Mr. India! We'll miss you very, very much.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

I Heared Many ppl Saying

I Heared Many ppl Saying
I heared many ppl saying that women are being raped because they wear inappropriate
dresses!!

Dear asshole, if that is the reason then, women are not supposed to be raped in winter.

They're fully dressed..!
No matter what a girl wear Those animals with human faces will
always act in human..

All they deserve is cruel severe punishment.. !

Friday, December 21, 2012

Shahidi Diwas Baba Ajit and Jujhar Singh

chaar sahibzaade
Ajj "Dasmesh pita" de 2 vade laal

"Sahibjada Baba Ajit Singh ji" te"sahibjada Baba jujaar
Singh ji" .......

Da shahidi diwas hai.....

When We Were Born

When We Were Born
When we were born...,
A woman was there to hold us : A Mother...

we grew as a child....,
A woman was there to care for us and play with us : A Sister...

we went to school...,
A woman was there to help us learn : A Teacher...

we became depressed
whenever we lost....,
A woman was there to offer a shoulder : A lover...

A great woman was there for us : A Wife...

A woman was there to melt us : A Daughter...

A woman is here to absorb inn : A MOTHERLAND
Respect woman..

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Everyone is Talking About Gang Rape

Everyone is Talking About Gang Rape
Everyone is talking about gang rape and
punishment for those bastards because it
came out publicly.... But what about those
guys who date girls have physical pleasure
and then leave girls for another girl....
Isn't this a rape....
Silent rape....
A girl cannot even share this to anyone else....
Give it a thought....
And please stop!!!

Mother To Son

Mother To Son
A Heart Touching Story.. Must read

Mother: Son I'm sorry.... I slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago. And that person is your real father.

Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this?

Mother: I 'm sorry he was my first love and I could'nt marry him.. 'cause we were of different religions. He's on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first time ever.

Son: No I 'm speaking to no one. Mr. Walia is the only father I know and that's that!!

Mother: Please don't be so upset. Just talk to him.

Son: Ok, I'll give him a piece of my mind!

Phone: Morning Son, I am Mukesh Ambani. I'm your real father.

Son: Maa ki Aaaannkkhhh...
Dad! Dad! Dad!!!
Thank God! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Thank God!!!!!!
Luv u so much Dad!!!!
I always knew there was something special about me..
Thank you soooo much Mum. You are the best mum in the world!

Moral:
Na Biwi Na Bachha
Na Baap Bada Na Bhaiya,
The whole thing is that Bhaiya,
Sabse Bada Rupppaiyaaaa..!

Upcoming Plans



Upcoming plans -

20 December - last night of the world PARTY
21 December - last day of the world PARTY
22 December - we are still alive PARTY
23 December - HANGOVER
24 December - Christmas eve PARTY
25 December Christmas day PARTY
26 and 27 December - HANGOVER
28 December - last Friday of the year PARTY
29 December - last Saturday of the year PARTY
30 December - last Sunday of the year PARTY
31 December - new year eve PARTY
1 Jan - new year PARTY

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

What is Indian Politics?

What is Indian Politics?
Child: What is Indian Politics?

Father: I run the home so I am government,
Your Mom is Opposition,
Our Maid is Working Class,
We all look after You,
So you are People
&
Your Younger Brother is Future,
This is Indian Politics.

At Night Boy Heard his Brother Crying as his Nappy was Dirty.

Boy went to Mother, She was Sleeping,
Then he went to Maid's Room,
Where he Saw his Father Having fun With Her Maid.
He Went Back to Sleep, Next Day Boy to Father:
Now I Understand Indian Politics clearly,
Government is F**king Working Class
&
Opposition is Sleeping,
People are Ignored
&
Future is in Deep Shit.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Bipasha Adopted a Child

Bipasha Adopted a Child
Bipasha Basu Ne Ek Baar Ek Bachhe Ko Adopt Kiya Aur Apne Ghar Le Aayi,

Raat Ko Bachhe Ko Bahut Tez Bhookh Lagti Hai,

Bachha: “ Mummy Mummy, Tez Bhookh Lagi Hai, Dhoodh Pilado ”

Bipasha Basu: “ Arey, Tum Ab Bade Ho Gaye Ho, Ab Tumhe Khana Khaana Chahiye ”

Bachha: “ Chalo, Doodh Mat Pilana, Lekin Dikha Toh Do, Please…. “

Monday, December 17, 2012

International Beer Conference

International Beer Conference
After an international beer conference in London, all the world's top brewery bosses decide to go out for a beer together.

The Chairman of Budweiser says, "I'd like the most refreshing beer in the world, 'The King Of Beers': give me a Budweiser."

The bartender takes a bottle from the shelf and opens it for him.

The Chairman of Guiness says, "I'd like the only beer inthe world worth really, truly waiting for: give me a Guinness."

The bartender serves him.

The Chairman of Carlsberg says, " I would like the world's best beer, drunk in more countries than any other: give me a Carlsberg."

He gets it.

Vijay Mallaya sits down, looks around and says, "Just give me a Coke."

The bartender looks at him, shrugs, and serves him.

The other brewery bosses laugh loudly and say, "Hey Vijay, how come you aren't drinking a Kingfisher?"

"Listen," says Vijay Mallya, "If you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I"
*******

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Great Confusion

Great Confusion
The boss calls his secretary & says:"Get ready for d weekend, We are going on a business trip."

The secretary calls husband & says:"Me & my boss are going on a business trip for 2 days so take care of yourself"

The husband calls his mistress & says: "My wife is going on a business trip come home we can have fun"

The mistress calls the boy to whom she gives
tuition: "No tuition this weekend."

The boy calls his grand father:"Grandpa at last
we can spend this weekend together."

Grandpa (The boss) calls his secretary & says: "Business trip is canceled. I'm going to spend weekend with my grandson"

The secretary calls husband:"I won'tbe going"

The husband calls his mistress: "I am sorry My wife is not going"

The mistress calls boy: "You have tuition"

Boy calls his grandpa & says: "Sorry grandpa I've classes"

The grandpa calls secretary &....

Employee To Organization

Employee To Organization
A Private Employee Was Rewarded A Bicycle By His Organisation.
It Was So Beautiful But Didnt 've A Carrier at The Back,
He Requested 2 Get It Fixed.
When The Cycle Came
Back With The Carrier Fitted,
He Noted That
Now The ...Stand Isnt There.
He Asked About The Missing Stand.
Organisation: Private Naukri Mein 1 Cheez Hi Possible Hai.
CAREER Ya STAND.
Agar STAND Loge To CAREER Khatam Aur Agar CAREER Banana Hai To STAND Kabhi Mat Lena.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Friday, December 14, 2012

Facts About Indian Cricket Team

Facts About Indian Cricket Team
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Indian Innings.

Where do Indian batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements.

What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.

How to increase the chances of Indian batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?
Try giving them two innings to begin with, then try three and so on.

What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
3 runs in 3 balls.

Joke on Indian Police

Joke on Indian Police
Ek Baar America, Japan Aur India Ke Police Officers Mein Behas Ho Gayi, Ki Kon Sabse Badiya Hai !!!

Akhir Ye Faisla Hua Ki Competition Rakha Jaye. To Competition Mein Ek Sher Ko Jungle Main Chorr Diya,

America Police Ne 10 Ghante Ke Andar Sher Ko Pakad Liya.

Sher Ko Phir Jungle Main Choda Gaya Aur Japan Police Ko Pakadne Ke Liye Bheja.

Japan Ki Police Ne 5 Ghante Main Sher Ko Pakad Liya.

Indian Police 2 Din Tak Laut Ke Nahi Aayi.

To Sabhi Officers Unko Dhundne Ke Liye Jungle Main Gaye. Jungle Mein Dekhte Hain Ki Indian Police Ek Gidad Ko Ulta Latka Kar Maar Rahi Thi Aur Bol Rahi Thi: “ Kabool Kar saale, Ke tu Hi Sher Hai "

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Facts About Rajinikanth

Facts About Rajinikanth
If any Superstar Rajnikanth fans are reading this, Please don’t take it seriously. Just read and enjoy!!! Here is the ever expanding set of Unlimited Maximum Rajnikanth Facts:-
1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5. Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it’s cover.
7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
25. Rajinikanth never wet hisbed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking and he got what he deserved.
27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.
28. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revengeis a dish best served cold.
32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
33. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
38. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.
42. Rajinikanth electrocuted Iron Man.
43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
45. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in mans laughter.
46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris’ round house kicks.
50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Teacher To Student

Teacher To Student
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a New England Patriots fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Pats fans, too.
Not really knowing what being a Pats fan meant, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, the students' hands flew into the air.
There was, however, one exception. Lucas was not going along with the crowd. The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different.
"Because I'm not a Patriots fan" he said.
"Then," asks the teacher,"what are you?"
"I'm an Indianapolis Colts fan," boasts the little boy.
The teacher asks Lucas why he is a Colts fan. "Well, my dad and mom are Colts fans, so I'm a Colts fan, too" he responds.
"That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"
Lucas smiles and says,"Then I'd be a New England Patriots fan."

Aisa Nahi Hai ke Jindagi Buri Hai

Aisa Nahi Hai ke Jindagi Buri Hai
Aisa nahi hai ke jindagi buri hai,
Par college life ki abat hi kuch aur thi...
Aisa nahi hai ke ab hansi nahi aati,
Par dosto ke sath baith k khilkhilane ki baat hi
kuch aur thi..
.
Aisa nahi hai ke ab tension se raat na gujarti ho,
Par exams ki raato mein jagne wali baat hi kuch aur thi..
Aisa nahi hai k aage aakar kuch hasil na kiya ho,
Par passing marks lakar party udane wali baat hi
kuch aur thi..
.
Aisa nahi hai k jindagi ab kat na rahi ho,
Par dosto ke sath bitaye gaye lamho ki baat hi kuch aur thi.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Funny Love Story

Funny Love Story
Love Story:
1 ladka 1 ladki ko bahut pyar krta tha, lekin darr ki vajah se kch keh nai paya..
1 din usne decide kiya ki wo us ladki ko msg karke i luv u bolega,
Usne raat mein 'I LUV U' type kar k ladki k no. par send kiya aur so gaya.
Kuch der bad uske mob Par msg ring tone baji par usne decide kiya ki wo msg agli subah naha kar mandir jane k bad padhega aur phir se so gya .
Rat bhar wo us ladki ka sapna dekhta rha..
Jab subah mandir se lauta aur wo msg padha to usme likha tha
.
.
A/C balance is insufficient.
Main bal is Rs. 0.08.
Msg can not be delievered.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Catching Pigs

Catching Pigs
CATCHING PIGS ......(Must Read & Read Full)
There was a chemistry professor in a large college that had some exchange students in the class.
One day while the class was in the lab, the professor noticed one young man, an exchange student, who kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt.
The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country's government and install a new communist regime.
In the midst of his story, he looked at the professor and asked a strange question. He asked: "Do you know how to catch wild pigs?"
The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line.
The young man said that it was no joke. "You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come every day to eat the free corn.
"When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used tocoming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. "They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side."The pigs, which are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat that free corn again. You then slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd. Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity."
The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening in India.
The government keeps pushing us toward Communism/ ­Socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tax exemptions, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc., while we continually lose our freedoms, just a little at a time.
One should always remember two truths:
There is no such thing as a free lunch and you can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.
If you see that all of this wonderful government "help"is a problem confronting the future of democracy in India, you might want to send this on to your friends.
If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, then you will probably delete this.
But, God help us all when the gate slams shut!
Quote for today: "The problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are now outnumbered by those who vote for a living."

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Na Bag ki Parwah Na Subject Koi Clear Hai

Na Bag ki Parwah Na Subject Koi Clear
Hai
Na bag ki parwah na subject koi clear hai,

Na job ka tension na future ka koi fear hai,

Table pe buks ki jagah kingfisher ki beer hai,

C++ ya java nhi chatting apna career hai,,,

yaha Einstine koi nhi yaha sab shakespear hai,

late night studies ki jagah filmo ke premier hai,

FIR b YARO HUM future ke ENGINEER hain..

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Monday, December 3, 2012

The Connection Between Indian Records

The Connection Between Indian Records
The Connection between Indian Records and Ravi Shashtri (as a commentator)
Here are Top most famous and Interesting moments in Indian Cricket When Ravi Shashtri was doing commentary -
1.When Yuvraj Singh Hit Six Sixes in an Over – Ravi Shashtri was commentator
His commentary during 5th and 6th Ball -
5th Ball – Fiveeeeeeeeeeee ­eeee yesssssssssssss ­ could he make it 6 out of six?
on the 6th ball – “Yuvraj must be favourite here, Kingmead on his feat here goes Broad and he has put it away, has he ? yesssssssss into the crowd 6 sixes in an over,Yuvraj Singh finishes things off in style first time this is happened in twenty twenty Cricket” !
2.When India Won the T20 World Cup 2007 -
comments- "In the Airrrrrrrrrr Sreesanth Take sit, India Wins"
3.When Sachin Tendulkar scored his Double hundred in ODI Cricket (Roop Singh Stadium at Gwalior on 24th Feb 2010) Ravi Shashtri was commentator -
his comments – “and he Get sit, First man on the planet to reach the double hundred and it’s the Superman from India Sachin Tendulkar ! OWWWW Take a Bow Master” !!!
4.When India Won the ICC World Cup 2011 -
comments – “Now Dhoni has chance to finishes things off and Dhoniiiiiiiiiii ­i finishes off in Style a magnificent strike into the crowd, India Lift the World Cup after 28 years and the party starts in the dressing room”.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Facebook pe Continue Online Rehne ka Matlab


FACEBOOK pe Continue online rehne ka matlab..??


Kisi Girls Hostel ke saamne kursi lekar baithne jaisa hai..

Patshahi Pehli SHRI GURU NANAK DEV JI


Satguru Nanak Pargateya Mitti dhund jag chanan hoya,

jio ghar suraj nikleya taare chhupe andher paloya,

Patshahi pehli SHRI GURU NANAK DEV JI de parkash purv diyan app sab nu te app g de pariwaran nu lakh lakh mubarkan hon.

Joke of The Night

Joke of The Night
Joke Of The Night

3 kaale dost ja rahe the.
Raste mein unhe ek pari mili,
usne teeno ko 1 - 1 vardaan offer kiya.
1st- mujhe dudh jitna gora bana do.
2nd- mujhe bhi utna hi gora bana do. Wo dono gore ho gaye.
...
.
3rd- hahahaha in saalo ko pehle jaisa kaala bana do...

Teeno fir se kaale ho gaye.
Moral-kuch dost kaminey hi rehte hain.

Monday, November 26, 2012

What is Cleverness?

What is Cleverness?
What is Cleverness?

Dad: I want you 2 marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate’s daughter.
Son: then Ok.
Dad goes o Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Then ok
Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank.
Dad:Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President:No
Dad:He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK

That’s Cleverness…!!

Salute Heroes of 26/11

26/11 taj attack
Salute heroes of 26/11..

Those who fought..

Those who lost their lives..

and those who never let the terror creep in and defeated its purpose....

Jai Hind

Is it a Coincidence

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Guru Teg Bahadur's Gurupurab

Guru teg bahadar ji images

"Sir jaave ta jaave mera Sikhi sidak na Jaave"

Dhan dhan Shri Guru Teg Bahadur ji de gurupurab diyan sab nu bahut bahut mubarkaan hon.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

Pappu To Servant

Pappu To Servant
Pappu makes a call from Delhi 2 his wife
.
Servant picked up the phone.
Pappu: Memsab se baat karao !
Servant: Woh to sahab ke sath kamre mein so rahi hai.
...
...
Pappu: Par sahab to main hu.
servant: Ab main kya karu?
Pappu: Maar de dono ko, main hold karta hu..
After killing....
servant: Dead body ka kya karu ?
Pappu: Ghar k piche swimming pool mein phenk kar bhaag ja.
Servant: Par ghar k piche to swimming pool hai hi nahi.
.
Pappu: Oh sorry, wrong number.

Friday, November 23, 2012

EXAM Mein Fail Hone ki Wajah Kya Hai

EXAM Mein Fail Hone ki Wajah Kya Hai
EXAM mein fail hone ki wajah kya hai ?
.
1 saal ke 365 din hote hain.
.
Roz 8 ghante sone ke Yani pure saal ke 122 din
.
365-122=243
.
aur summer vacation gino 61 din.
243-61=182 din
.
Usme 52 sunday.
.
182-52=130 din.
.
Diwali ; holi etc...Festival ke 40.
.
Collage festival 15 din [40+15=55]
.
130-55=75 din.
.
Khane pine nahane ke 3 ghante ke hisab se 46 din.
.
75-46=29 din.
.
Roj ke 1 ghante dosto ke. Uske 15 din.
.
29-15=14 din.
.
Ab hum 10 din to bimar bhi rahte hain.
.
14-10=4 din bache.
.
T.V dekhne ke 3 din.
.
4-3=1 din bacha Yaar
.
1 saal mein 1 din hi to birthday aata hai.
Ab birthday ke din kon padhe hai yaar.

Must Read

Must Read
Must Read:-
Ek din ek ladki ne ladke se puchaa
kya tum mera liye jaan de sakte
ho ??

Ladke ne kuch sochte hue kaha.
♥""Tera liye jaan toh de du magar uska kya karu
...
jo roz subha ghar se nikalte hue kehti hai-
beta jaldi aana.
♥ Tera liye jaan toh de du magar uska kya karu jo roz mera intezaar karti hai.
jo mere liye roz dua maangti hai.
♥ jo mere bina khaana nahi khaati.
Main uss maa ka kya karu ♥ ♥
♥ A message to lovers Plz
Share
apne pyaar k liye apni maa ko kabhi maat bhulna.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

A Sad Story

A Sad Story
A Sad Story:

Ek student ko apni classmate se pyar ho gaya
.
Ladke ne use propose kiya Lekin ladki ne inkar kar diya aur teacher ko uski complaint kardi
.
Teacher ne ladke ko kaafi daanta or 1 week ke liye class se nikal diya
.
.
Jab 1 week baad ladka wapas class mein gaya to Ladki ko uss se pyar ho gaya Ladki ne us ladke ki book mein
likha: 'I m sorry & I love u too'
.
.
Ladke ne koi response nahi diya.
.
Isi tarah 4 saal guzar gaye
.
Moral:- bewkoof ladki itna bhi nahi samajti Ladke kabhi books nahi kholte hai...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Monday, November 19, 2012

Sunday, November 18, 2012

What we Learn From Indian Television Ads

What we Learn From Indian Television Ads
What we learn from Indian Television Ads..??
You Don't Need Singing Skills To Be An Indian Idol, You Just Need Fair & Lovely..!!
That No One Can Eat Cadbury Dairymilk Chocolate Without Getting It All Across Their Face..!!
To Close Bathroom Door While Brushing Teeth, Else A Tv Reporter Might Step In & Ask "Kya Aapke Toothpaste Mein Namak Hai?"
Don't Buy Reliance..!! Even Anushka Sharma Couldn't Convince Ranvijay To Buy It..!!
That Both Kareena Kapoor & Saif Ali Khan Have Serious Dandruff Problem..!!
That If You Don't Use Harpic, People Will Barge Into Your House To Clean Your Toilet..!!
That Only Thing Super Hot Girls Care About Is Your 140 Rupees Deodorant Bathed Body!
Money Minded Women Will Fall For Any Guy Who Applies A Deo Or Uses A Fairness Cream. No Other Quality Matters!!
That Salman With A Relaxo Chappal Can Achieve Many Great Things, Unlike The Salman Without The Chappals..!!
That Your Mom Will Be Proud Of You If You Take A Bath In A
Puddle Of Mud! #Daag Ache Hain.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Friday, November 16, 2012

Kanjoos Baap

Kanjoos Baap
Kanjoos baap ke bete ne kaha: "Papa meri GF pregnant ho gayi hai.
50,000 mang rahi hai, CHUP rehne ke"
.
Kanjoos ne khamoshi se paise de diye.
.
2 mahine baad dusra beta bola: "Meri GF pregnant hai 75,000
mang rahi hai.
.
Kanjoos ne khamoshi se de diye.
.
6 mahine baad Kanjoos ki kuwari beti boli: "Daddy, I am pregnant!"
.
Kanjoos ne usko gale se Lagaya Aur kaha: "Shabaash beti, Ab paise lene ki baari hamari hai."

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Software Engineer Style


Software Engineer style
May this Diwali give U…

Independence of JAVA
Power of UNIX
Popularity of WINDOWS
Luxury of .NET
Efficiency of C
Ease of VB
Robustness of ORACLE
Vision of PHOTOSHOP
Vastness of INTERNET
Compactness of JPG
Richness of BMP
Coverage as YAHOO
Reachness of GOOGLE
&
Security of NORTON!!!
Happy Diwali … Enjoy!

Monday, November 12, 2012

On The Auspicious Festival of Lights


On the auspicious festival of lights,

may the glow of joy, prosperity and happiness illuminate your days in the year ahead.

Wishing you and your family a very HAPPY DIWALI.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Two Boys Were Playing Games

Two Boys Were Playing Games
Two boys were playing chess (joke doesn't
end here).

1st Boy: Chal yaar bas karte hain, pak raha hai.

2nd Boy: Haan yaar, waise bhi tera sirf haathi bacha hai aur mera sirf ghoda.
The joke doesn't end here

Phir waha Vishwanath anand aata hai.

Vishy: Chalo Boys, chess khelte hain.

Boys: Nahi, aap to humein aasani se hara doge.

Vishy: Chalo yaar, Tum dono aur main akela.

Boys: Phir bhi hum haar jayenge

Vishy: Okay, main left hand se khelunga.

Boys: Haan. Phir thik hai.
The joke still doesn't end.

Dono obviously haar jate hain aur Vishy chala jata hai.

1st Boy: Badi sharmanaak baat hai, yaar. Left hand se bhi hara diya usne.

2nd Boy: Abe bewkoof bana gaya woh hume.

1st Boy: Kaise?

2nd Boy: Saala lefty hi hoga.

On The Auspicious Day


On the auspicious day of Dhanteras puja Hindus follow the tradition of purchasing precious metals gold, platinum or silver, in the form of jewellery coins or utensils for good luck.
Happy Dhanteras…

Saturday, November 10, 2012

We Indian Student Are AlwaysThe Best

We Indian Student Are AlwaysThe Best
We Indian student are always the best..

Look how we study
1) B4 paper unnecessary sms to frndz.
2) Plan each day to study but end of d day:
Kal se pakka
3) We waste all our tym in counting chapterz instead of
doing them.
4) We want break after every 2 pages
5) Unnecessarily we start feeling hungry
6) We even start liking doordarshan
7) About every hard topic we think:
lagta nahi ke ye aayega.
8 ) B4 starting study, msg frndz: Kitna padha? mein kya padhu?
9) Right now u r thinking of forwarding this msg to ur frndz.
10) On each point u smiled, n thought: Hum par to bilkul suit krta hai.

Friday, November 9, 2012

How Engineers Complete Their Assignment

How Engineers Complete Their Assignment
How Engineers complete their assignment:
Open MS Word >Type 2 lines>
Need Reference > Open Internet >
Open facebook > Spend one hour
on Facebook > Check for what
was actually required > Close
internet > Tired enough already >
open Game (NFS/FIFA) > Play for 1
hour > Close game and open
Facebook again > Loop goes on
for some time > Finally after 6 hours and at the end of the
assignment "Saala Puri raat ho gayi assignment banate banate!"

Thursday, November 8, 2012

TOUCHING SAD STORY

TOUCHING SAD STORY
TOUCHING SAD STORY♥
--------------- -----------
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes.
When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open.
He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard.
The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to bea poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words. What do you think were the four words?
.
.
The husband just said "I Love You Darling"
MORAL LESSON:
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior.
The child is dead. He can ηєνєя be brought back to life.There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he have taken time to keep the bottle away, this will not have happened. No point in attaching blame.
She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
NOTE:
Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. We miss out some warmth in human relationship in giving each other support. After all, shouldn't forgiving someone we lovebe the easiest thing in the world to do?
Treasure what you have. Don't multiply pain, anguish and suffering by holding on to forgiveness.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

FUNNY FULL FORMS OF IT COMPANIES

FUNNY FULL FORMS OF IT COMPANIES
**FUNNY FULL FORMS OF IT COMPANIES**

1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS: Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS: Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES: Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN: Beggars Association And Nerds
8. IBM: Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM: Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM: Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT: Coffee During Office Timings
12. CMC: Coffee, Meals and Comfort
13. DELL: Deplorable Equipment & lacklusters
14. PSI: Peculiar Symptoms of India.
15. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Girl To Boy

Girl To Boy
Girl (sharmaty hue): Ye Pyar kya hota hai?
.
Boy: pyar ka rishta 2 insano mein wohi hota hai jo cement or rait ke darmiyan pani ka hota hai.

For Example
Larka = Cement
Larki = Rait
Love = Pani
ab agar cement or rait ko Aapas mein mila diya jaye to wo strong nahi honge.

lekin agar in mein paani mix kar diya jaye to koi in ko juda nahi kar sakta.
.
Girl (hanste hue): Kaminey tu to pakka CIVIL ENGINEER hai..

Monday, November 5, 2012

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Ek Ladka Tha Diwana sa

Ek Ladka Tha Diwana sa
Ek Ladka Tha Diwana sa,
.
1 Ladki Thi Diwani si.
Dono sath Padte The.
.
Ladke Ne Ladki Ko Facebook Pe Friend
Request Send Ki.
.
Wo Apas Mein Dinbhar Chating Karne Lage.

Baad Mein Ladke Ne Uska Phone NO. Liya,
.
Fir Wo Msg Send Karane Lage.

Or Raat mein Phone Calls.

After 6 Month Ladke Ko Ladki Se Pyar Ho Gaya.

Ladki Ko Bhi Usse Pyar Ho Gaya.

After 1 Year Ladke Ne Ladki Ko Kisi Or Ke Sath
Ghumte Huye Dekha.

Ladke Se Ye Sadma Bardash Nahi Hua.

Depresion Mein Akar Wo Suicide Krne Ke Liye
Terrace Pe Chada Or Chalang Lagai.
.
Lekin Usi Waqt SHAKTIMAAN Waha Se Ja Raha Tha.

Kya SHAKTIMAAN Use Bacha Payega.....??

Jane ne ke Liye Dekhiye
.
SHAKTIMAAN...

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Friday, November 2, 2012

Husband and Wife was Sleeping on Bed


Pogo joke ...

Husband and wife was sleeping on bed ...

Husband had a habit to go for running every day early morning.

1 day he got up and came out of house

He felt cold out side and he couldn't jog..

and came back to bed and lay there...

and told her wife that its too cold today...

Wife: "Wo gadha fir bhi bhaagne gaya hai "

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Ek Ladka TRAIN Mein Chadne Laga

Ek Ladka TRAIN Mein Chadne Laga
Ek ladka TRAIN mein chadne laga

Akashwani hui: "Isme mat hadh ye patri se utar jayegi"
.
PLANE mein chadne laga Aawaz aayi" Ye crash ho jayega"
.
BUS mein aawaz aayi "Ye khai mein gir jayegi"
.
Ladka gusse se- "Kaun hai...??
.
Aawaz aai- "GOD"
.
Ladka:- "Engineering mein jab admission le raha tha, tab tumhara gala baith gaya tha kya....???

Smartness of an Engg Student


SMARTNESS OF AN ENGG STUDENT: read the story

Teacher: Where’s your homework?

Girl: Ummm… (looks to boyfriend for help)?

Boy: It was my fault. Sorry.

Girl: (whispers) What r u doing? (he smiled & winked at her)

Teacher: What?

Boy: It was my fault.

Teacher: How so?

Boy: I walked her to school today & offered to carry her books.

Teacher: So where’s her homework?

Boy: I dropped it.

Teacher: Why?

Boy: I dropped it when I was beating up a guy for saying you weren’t the best teacher ever.

(everyone laughs & teacher smiles)

Teacher: I’ll give you one more day to get it finished.....♥

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Student of The Year

Student of The Year
"STUDENT OF THE YEAR"
Dear movie,

i did't have a Ferrari or Mercedes in my school days,

neither my school have acres of lands of campus...nd yeah a cool Disco too... And girls roaming around in
bikni...??

Hell no....!!
still my school days were awesome as hell... ♥ :) :)
so,

Mr. karan johar stop making such unrealistic movies as it can leave a wrong impression on the youth, making them to compare it
with their school days nd feel sick.

Monday, October 29, 2012

From The Day I Met You


Boy : From The Day I Met You,

I Have't Drank Or Smoked..

Girl : How Sweet Of You, You're Madly In Love With Me...

Boy- SHUT UPPPPPPPP...... .

You Made My Pockets Empty...!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Teacher To Student

Teacher To Student
Teacher: aaj tune fir homework
kyon nahi kiya?

Student = sir light nahi thi.

Teacher= to mombatti jala leta.

Student= sir machis nahi utha sakta tha,

Teacher= kyun be ?

Student= sir puja k ghar mein rakhi thi,

Teacher= to uthayi kyon nahi ?

Student= nahaya nahi tha sir.

Teacher- saale nahaya kyon nahi tha?

Student= paani nahi tha sir.

Teacher= abbey, paani kyon nahi tha?

Student -sir motar nahi chal rahi thi.

Teacher = Saale ab motar ko kya hua?

Student - Abbey Saale Pagla gaya hai kya ....

Kutte Kamine

Kitni baar bolun Saale ki light nahi thi.

Bimar Engineering student Se Mummy Boli

Bimar Engineering student Se Mummy Boli
Bimar Engineering student Se mummy Boli:-

Jaakar Janwar Ke Doctor Ko Dikha,

To Hi Theek Hoga..

Beta:- Aisa Kyon...??

Mummy: Roz Subah Murge Ki Tarah Uth Jata Hai,

Ghode ki tarah bhag k tution mein jata hai,

Sher ki tarah class mein dosto k sath masti karta hai,

suwar ki tarah yaha vahan assignment par muh marta hai,

gadhe ki tarah submission karta hai,

ghar akar sab pe kutte ki tarah bhokta hai,

raat ko ullu ki tarah jag ke facebook pe chat karta hai,

bhais ki tarah so jata hai..

aur
bhigi billi ki tarah 40 marks lata hai..

ISLIYE.

Tota To Maalik

Tota To Maalik
1 tota or uska maalik jahaaz mein safar kar
rahe the,

Airhosts Gujri to tote ne seeti baza di,

Airhosts ne muskra ke piche dekha ,,

To uske maalik ne bhi seeti baza di,

Airhosts ne complaint kar di,

elaan hua ke dono ko jahaaz se niche phenk
do,,,

darwaaze par tota malik se bola;

Uddna aunda aa?

Malik: nahi,,,,

Tota: fer aapni maa nu chedeyaa kyu c....

Friday, October 26, 2012

Double Meaning Joke

Double Meaning Joke
Double meaning joke . . .

Pappu Aur Uski Girlfriend Ek Din School Ke Ground Mein Bethe The
.
Girlfriend Ne Kuch sochte Hue Pappu Se Puchha:

“ Yaar,Ye Lal Killa Lal Kyun Hai? ”

Pappu Bhi Majak Ke Mood Mein Tha Bola.

“ Kyunki, Rajnikant Ne Paan Kha Kar Us Par Pichkari Maari Thi,
.
Ab Ye Mat Puchhna Ki Taj Mahal Safed Kyun Hai ?

Thursday, October 25, 2012

What Engineering Taught Me

What Engineering Taught Me
What Engineering taught me? [A must read]

1. I learnt to use 3 High End Software:
* Microsoft Word
* Microsoft Excel
* Microsoft PowerPoint

2. I used 3 great short cuts:-
* Ctrl+C
* Ctrl+V
* Ctrl+X

3. I learnt to say three very imp words for life:-
* Yes sir
* Ok sir
* I'll Just Do That sir
4. When I really wanted to study, I learnt to: -
* Wake Up late
* Sleep early
* Continue to continue to watch series/play games

5. I learnt to: -
* Face Monday
* Fight For 5 Days
* Wait For the Weekend

6. I learnt to give reasons to family frnds and relatives for not making
* Phone Calls
* Messages
* Mails

7. I learnt to celebrate these things far away from loved ones:-
* Birthday
* Diwali
* Holi

8. In last 4 years, People say:-
* You made friends for a lifetime..
* You lived a life which was out of the world...
* You Enjoyed...

9. But when I compare me with my self...
* I just Sustained...
* I just Tolerated...
* I just Survived..

3 Boys Proposed a Girl


3 boys proposed a girl
.
1st: Main tumhare liye apni jaan de sakta hu.
.
Girl: Wo to sab kehte hain
.
2nd: Main tumhare liye chand tare tod kar la sakta hu.
.
Girl: Purana dailouge hai.
.
3rd: Main tumhari ACTIVA mein Roz 1 ltr Petrol dalwaunga.
.
Girl: Ankho mein aansu ke saath Pagal itna chahta hai mujhe.

Aap Ka Mobile Bohat Acha Hai


Girl: Aap Ka Mobile Bohat Acha Hai Kitney ka Liya?

Boy: Race competition Mein Jeeta Hai.

Girl: Wow! Race Mein Kitne Log The?
.
Boy: 3 Police Wale, 1 Mobile Shop Wala Or Main.

American Kids on Eiffel Tower


American kids on eiffel Tower. "
Wow, what a beautiful view."

Indian kids on eiffel tower.
"Chal dekhte hai kiski thook pehle neeche girti hai.."
aaakkk thuuuu..!!

Ek College ke Kuch Ladke

Ek College ke Kuch Ladke
Ek college ke kuch ladke Roz ek hotel mein jate aur Ek waiter ko khoob pareshan karte the.

Ek din unhe apni galti ka ehsaas hua aur Unhone waiter ko 10 rupaye Tip dekar maafi mangi, Sorry bhai Aaj ke baad hum tumhe Kabhi pareshan nahi krenge."

Waiter khush hokar bola

Thanx bhai, Main bhi waada karta hoon Ki aaj ke baad aap logo ki coffey mein THUKA nahi karunga.

Santa Train Mein ek Seat Par Akela Leta Tha

Santa Train Mein ek Seat Par Akela Leta Tha
Ladka train mein ek seat par akela leta tha
.
Ek aadmi aaya aur bola:- bhai thoda side mein ho jaiye mujhe bhi baithna hai.
.
Ladka:- tujhe pata hai main kaun hu..??
.
Aadmi darr ke dusri jagah baith gaya
.
phir ek pahalwan aaya aur bola:- side mein ho ja chotu mujhe baithna hai.
.
Ladka:- abe oye tujhe pata hai main kaun hu.
.
Pahalwan ne ladke ki gardan pakad ke utha liya aur bola:- haan bol tu kaun hai.....??
.
Ladka:- ji main " Bimaar " hu.. 2 din se tezz bukhar hai.

Ladki To Maa

Ladki To Maa
Larrki: Ammi main shaadi nahi karun gi or agar zabardasti tum ne meri shadi ki to ghar sy bhaag jaungi.

Maa rote huwy boli: beti maa ne bhaag ke tere abba ke saath shaadi ki,
teri khala or behen ny bhi bhag ke shaadi ki, tera bhai nokrani ke sath
or
tera chacha dhoban ke sath bhag gaya,
teri phopho sabzi waly ke sath
or
cousin doodh waly ke sath bhag gai,
tera baap 2 bar parrosan ke sath bhag chuka hai,
ab tu bhi bhag jaye gi to..

Hamari kya izzat reh jayegi,
kuch khayal kar.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Waheguru

Waheguru
WAHEGURU (ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ)ੴ
W = ਵੱਡਾ
A = ਆਣ ਬਾਣ-ਸ਼ਾਨ ਦਾ ਰਾਖਾ
H = ਹਰ ਇਕ ਦਾ ਸਾਝਾਂ
E = ਇਕੋ....ਇੱਕ
G = ਗਰੀਬਨਵਾਜ਼
U = ਉਤਪਤੀ ਕਰਨ ਵਾਲਾ
R = ਰੋਮ-ਰੋਮ ਵਿੱਚ ਵਸਣ ਵਾਲਾ
U = ਉਸ ਤੋ ਵੱਡਾ ਕੋਇ ਨਹੀ ੴ"Satnaam Sri Waheguru Ji"ੴ

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Bechare Ladke

Bechare Ladke
Bechare Ladke..:P
.
Ladki par hath uthay to zalim,
.
Ladki se pit jaye to namard, .
.
Ladki ko kisi ke sath dekh kar lade to jealous,
.
Chup rahe to begairat,
.
Ghar se bahar rahe to awara,
.
Ghar me rahe to nakara,
.
Bachcho ko dante to buzdil,
.
Na dante to laparwah,
.
Biwi ko naukri se roke to shakki mizaz,
.
Na roke to biwi ki kamai khane wala.
.
Aakhir Bechara Ladka Kare To Kya kare.........??

Tumhari Umar Kya Hai


Boy to Girl:Tumhari Umar kya hai?

Girl:20 years

Boy: tum ne to 5 saal pehle bhi yahi batayi thi?

Girl: dekha ladkiyan zubaan ki kitni pakki hoti hain..

1 Chudail ne 60 Saal ke Shaadi Shuda Jode se

1 Chudail ne 60 Saal ke Shaadi Shuda Jode se
1 Chudail ne 60 saal ke shaadi shuda jode se kaha Main tum dono ki
1-1 wish puri kar sakti hun.

Wife > Main apne pati ke saath sari duniya ki sair karna chahti hun..

chudail ne charkhi ghumai 2 tickts aa gayi .

Fir pati se poocha tum batao kya chahte ho ??

Pati> Mujhe apne se 30 saal choti wife chaiye.. !

Chudail ne charkhi ghumai or pati ko 90 saal ka kar diya

Moral- Aadmi ko yaad rakhna chahiye ke chudail bhi aurat hi hoti hai.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Maa To Beta

Maa To Beta
MAA: Beta Agar Meri Ankhein Kharab Ho jaye to tum kya karo ge?
.
Beta: Maa tumhein sheher le jau ga wahan ilaaz karwaonga .
.
MAA: Agar phir bhi theek na hui to?
.
Beta: Maa main paisay kharch karun ga tumhain Dusre mulk le ja ker Ilaaz karwaon ga........
.
Maa hass padi
.
Beta: Acha Maa agar meri Ankhein kharab ho jayen to tum kya karogi?
.
MAA : Mere LaL, main tujhe apni ankhein de dungi ..
.
No One is better than Mother!♥ !

Please take Care of Your Mother!♥ !

Friday, October 19, 2012

Ek Bacha Girl ko Kiss Karte Hue

Ek Bacha Girl ko Kiss Karte Hue
Ek bacha girl ko kiss karte hue dekh leta hai.

Bacha: mujhe bhi karne do Warna main aapke papa ko bata dunga.

Ladki: Le yaar tu bhi karle,
Bacha kafi try karta hai,
Par wo height mein kam reh jata hai,

Baccha pareshan ho kar.
.
“Bhaar mein gayi duniyadari”

Jo kaam galat hai..
Wo galat hai..
Main to bataunga!!

Ek Indian or Ek American Dono Dost The

Ek Indian or Ek American Dono Dost
The
Ek Indian or Ek American dono dost
the…..

Dono ek din ek chocolate store mein gaye…

Waha sab logo ko busy dekhkar American ne 3 chocolate chura Li..

Jab dono bahar aaye to American bola:
"Man I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, u cant beat
that"

Indian replied: "You wanna see something better, let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing"

So they went to the counter and Indian
said to the Shop boy:-
"Do you wanna see magic?

" Shop boy replied: "Yes."
Indian said: "Give me one chocolate bar."

The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it.

He asked for the second, and he ate
that as well.

He asked for the third, and finished that one too.

The shop boy asked: "But where's the magic?"

Indian replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find them."

U cant beat an Indian :)
East or the west, India is the best;)

A Couple Never Fought in 25Yrs

A Couple Never Fought in 25Yrs
A Couple never fought in 25Yrs!!!
.
A friend asked - How did U make it possible??
.
Husband - We went 2 Shimla for our Honeymoon, While Horse riding.

My Wife's Horse jumped & my wife fell down,
she got up, patted the
Horse's back & said "Dis is your 1st time"
.
After a while, it happened again. She said "dis is your 2nd time" &
.
When it happened the 3rd time, she took out a gun & shot the horse.
.
I shouted, U psycho, U killed the horse.
.
She gave a grave look & said "dis is your 1st time". &

Since then we are very happy.

Ek Minister Ki Biwi

Ek Minister Ki Biwi
Ek Minister Ki Biwi Bahut Hi Sunder Aur Sexy Thi.

Ek Din Minister Ka Na jane Kya Mood Bana Or Usne Patni Ko Bulaya Aur Puchha.

Minister: “Sach Sach Batao Tumne Hamare Saath Kitni Baar Bewafayi Ki Hai?”

Patni Kuch Soch Ke Boli: “Ji Sirf 3 Baar”

Minister Man Hi Man Mein Khush Hua Ki Chalo Itni Sexy Hone Ke Baad Bhi Sirf 3 Baar Hi Bewafayi Ki,

Fir Bhi Usne Pucha
Minister: “Kab Kab”

Patni: “Ek Bar Jab Aapke Dil Ka Operation Hua Tha To Main shehar Ke Sabse Bade Dr. Ko Manane Gayi Thhi”

Minister: “Hmm”

Patni: “Agli Bar Jab Aap Jail Mein Band The Aur Rihayi Ke Koi Chances Na The To Judge Ke Pass Gayi thi”

Minister: “Aur Teesri Bar”

Patni Sharmate Hue: “Jab Aapko Sarkar Banani Thi Aur Aapke Paas 76 MLAs Kam the.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

A Engg. Student's GF Asked Him

A Engg. Student's GF Asked Him
A Engg. Student's GF asked him: kya exam mein 1 ya 2 baar back aane se degree ki value kam ho jaati hai???

Engg. Student ne apni pocket se 500 ka note nikala or pucha iski kya value hai ???

GF- Rs.500

Engg. Student ne use mutthi mein mod ke pucha ab ???

GF-500

Then he crushed the note with his foot & asked again....

GF-500

Engg Student jaanu hum enGineer bhi isi 500 ke note ki tarah hote hain, humein kitna bhi ragad lo hamari value kam nhi hogi:p

Agree??

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Mere Paas 3 Gas Cylinder Connection Hai


Boy to Girl - i love you

Girl- shakal dekhi hai apni....??

Boy - shakal pe mat ja mere paas 3 gas cylinder connection hai.. aur khud ka petrol pumb hai.
.
Girl:- awww...I love you too.

There is Nothing More Expensive

There is Nothing More Expensive
There is nothing more expensive than a female tear

When a single drop comes out,

it first mixes with "loreal" eyeliner and "Dior" mascara ;)
.
then when it comes down to cheek....

it mixes with D&G blusher :)

and in case it touches the lips,,

it gets mixed with "Maybelline" lipstick
this means that a single dropis worth at least Rs.1500.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

You Know I Broke my Engagement


Girl: You know I broke my engagement with Jay.

Friend: Why What happened?

Girl: You see, my feelings are changed completely
from what they were when I accepted him...

Friend: but why are you still wearing the ring?

Girl: Oh... My feelings towards the diamond ring are just the same !!!

Wish You and Your Family

happy navratri images

Wish you and your Family Happy Navratri.
Maa durga’s foot prints are entering your home & hope she stay there 4ever.

Happy Navratri.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Reactions of KISSING

Reactions of KISSING in various Countries

America: - Kiss me hard !

France: - Kiss me Slowly !

In India
.
Jaldi karo koi aa jayega.