Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Boy To Conductor

Conducter ek Bacche se:-
Tum hamesha Darwaje
mein khade rehte ho,

Tumhara Baap Chokidar hai kya.?
.
?
Baccha:-
Tu hamesa Paise mangta hai,

Tera Baap Bhikhari hai kya..?

Mom To Children

MOM to CHILDREN: Jo Meri Baat Manega aur mere Aage kuch Nahi Bolega,
Main Use Gifts dungi..
.
.
Children: Lo ji, Is Tarah to saare gifts Papa hi Le jayenge!!

Dear Hurricanes

Dear Hurricanes Earthquakes, Tsunamis and Floods.

It isn't 21st December yet, right? Please buy a calendar.

Sincerely, Humans.

4 Years 40 Subjects

4 Years,
40 Subjects,
400 Experiments,
4000 Assignments,
40000 hours

A normal human being CANNOT do it.

Those super heroes are
called ‘ENGINEERING STUDENTS’

I Asked 100 Women

I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred...

the top answer was:

"Get the hell out of my bathroom!!"

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Each Nyt I Go 2 Sleep

"Each Nyt I Go 2 Sleep, I Die. Next Day I Wake Up, I'm Reborn."
-M.K.Gandhi "

Each Nyt I Go 2 Sleep, I'm Reborn.

Next Day I Wake Up, I'm Dead Again."
-Engineering Student.

Someone Asked Shakespeare

Someone Asked Shakespeare:
"U Married A Girl Elder Than U, Why?"

He Showed Him A Calendar N Said

"A Week Has 7 Days;
Can U Say Which Day Is Younger, Either Sunday Or Saturday??

So, Love Comes From Heart Not In Age"
Love Has No Age.

MORAL:
Senior Girls R Also Available For Boys.

Student of The Year

"STUDENT OF THE YEAR"
Dear movie,

i did't have a Ferrari or Mercedes in my school days,

neither my school have acres of lands of campus...nd yeah a cool Disco too... And girls roaming around in
bikni...??

Hell no....!!
still my school days were awesome as hell... ♥ :) :)
so,

Mr. karan johar stop making such unrealistic movies as it can leave a wrong impression on the youth, making them to compare it
with their school days nd feel sick.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Exam Time Special

Exam time special:

usko pane ke liye main bhagvan se bhi ladh jata
.
.
Par baad mein socha exams paas aa rahe hain to bhagvan se panga thik nahi.

From The Day I Met You


Boy : From The Day I Met You,

I Have't Drank Or Smoked..

Girl : How Sweet Of You, You're Madly In Love With Me...

Boy- SHUT UPPPPPPPP...... .

You Made My Pockets Empty...!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Teacher To Student

Teacher: aaj tune fir homework
kyon nahi kiya?

Student = sir light nahi thi.

Teacher= to mombatti jala leta.

Student= sir machis nahi utha sakta tha,

Teacher= kyun be ?

Student= sir puja k ghar mein rakhi thi,

Teacher= to uthayi kyon nahi ?

Student= nahaya nahi tha sir.

Teacher- saale nahaya kyon nahi tha?

Student= paani nahi tha sir.

Teacher= abbey, paani kyon nahi tha?

Student -sir motar nahi chal rahi thi.

Teacher = Saale ab motar ko kya hua?

Student - Abbey Saale Pagla gaya hai kya ....

Kutte Kamine

Kitni baar bolun Saale ki light nahi thi.

Engineering Fact

Engineering Fact :

Exam ke pehli wali raat koi agar ek dost dusre dost ko phone karke poochta hai ki "kitna hua hai?"
.
chahe syllabus poora ho ya aadha, ya kuch bhi nahi hua ho.....

answer hamesha same
rehta hai "bhai abhi start karunga.

jhoote saale!!

Bimar Engineering student Se Mummy Boli

Bimar Engineering student Se mummy Boli:-

Jaakar Janwar Ke Doctor Ko Dikha,

To Hi Theek Hoga..

Beta:- Aisa Kyon...??

Mummy: Roz Subah Murge Ki Tarah Uth Jata Hai,

Ghode ki tarah bhag k tution mein jata hai,

Sher ki tarah class mein dosto k sath masti karta hai,

suwar ki tarah yaha vahan assignment par muh marta hai,

gadhe ki tarah submission karta hai,

ghar akar sab pe kutte ki tarah bhokta hai,

raat ko ullu ki tarah jag ke facebook pe chat karta hai,

bhais ki tarah so jata hai..

aur
bhigi billi ki tarah 40 marks lata hai..

ISLIYE.

Tota To Maalik

1 tota or uska maalik jahaaz mein safar kar
rahe the,

Airhosts Gujri to tote ne seeti baza di,

Airhosts ne muskra ke piche dekha ,,

To uske maalik ne bhi seeti baza di,

Airhosts ne complaint kar di,

elaan hua ke dono ko jahaaz se niche phenk
do,,,

darwaaze par tota malik se bola;

Uddna aunda aa?

Malik: nahi,,,,

Tota: fer aapni maa nu chedeyaa kyu c....

Friday, October 26, 2012

Double Meaning Joke

Double meaning joke . . .

Pappu Aur Uski Girlfriend Ek Din School Ke Ground Mein Bethe The
.
Girlfriend Ne Kuch sochte Hue Pappu Se Puchha:

“ Yaar,Ye Lal Killa Lal Kyun Hai? ”

Pappu Bhi Majak Ke Mood Mein Tha Bola.

“ Kyunki, Rajnikant Ne Paan Kha Kar Us Par Pichkari Maari Thi,
.
Ab Ye Mat Puchhna Ki Taj Mahal Safed Kyun Hai ?

Bahu To Saas

Jyotish: Bahu ke 3 abortion honge, Fir ladka hoga.

Saas: Oh God!

Bahu: Maaji Aap pote ki tyari karo,
.
Abortion ka quota main maike mein hi pura kar chuki hoon...!

4 Gals in a Group Can Say

4 Gals in a group can say-

yaar tera bhai mast dikhta hai, Intro to karwa.

But
4 Guys in a group cant say

'Yaar teri behan to mast dikhti hai !!'

Thursday, October 25, 2012

What Engineering Taught Me

What Engineering taught me? [A must read]

1. I learnt to use 3 High End Software:
* Microsoft Word
* Microsoft Excel
* Microsoft PowerPoint

2. I used 3 great short cuts:-
* Ctrl+C
* Ctrl+V
* Ctrl+X

3. I learnt to say three very imp words for life:-
* Yes sir
* Ok sir
* I'll Just Do That sir
4. When I really wanted to study, I learnt to: -
* Wake Up late
* Sleep early
* Continue to continue to watch series/play games

5. I learnt to: -
* Face Monday
* Fight For 5 Days
* Wait For the Weekend

6. I learnt to give reasons to family frnds and relatives for not making
* Phone Calls
* Messages
* Mails

7. I learnt to celebrate these things far away from loved ones:-
* Birthday
* Diwali
* Holi

8. In last 4 years, People say:-
* You made friends for a lifetime..
* You lived a life which was out of the world...
* You Enjoyed...

9. But when I compare me with my self...
* I just Sustained...
* I just Tolerated...
* I just Survived..

Insult

INSULT
.
.
Boyfriend : Please Keep Me In Your Brain, Not In Your Heart..
.
.
Girlfriend : How Funny, Why Not Heart..?
.
Boyfriend : Because
.
Your Heart Is Houseful And Brain Is Empty,
More Empty Space Means More Comfort.

Agar Aapke Laptop Mein

Agar aapke laptop mein data.pdf, .txt, .exe se zyada .avi, .3gp, .dvd mein hain toh kasam Sunny Leone ki

Aap Engineer Hain!

I Got 0 Marks in Exam

I got 0 marks in exam..

So Check the paper and tell me i am right na.!

Q.1 What is formula of water?
Ans: H,i,j,k,l,m,n,o (H to O).

Q.2 Till when 2nd world war was fought?
Ans: From page 115 to page120.

Q.3 Who was Bhagat Singh?
Ans: Ajay devgan, Bobby deol…

Now tel me who is wrong, me or teacher!

3 Boys Proposed a Girl


3 boys proposed a girl
.
1st: Main tumhare liye apni jaan de sakta hu.
.
Girl: Wo to sab kehte hain
.
2nd: Main tumhare liye chand tare tod kar la sakta hu.
.
Girl: Purana dailouge hai.
.
3rd: Main tumhari ACTIVA mein Roz 1 ltr Petrol dalwaunga.
.
Girl: Ankho mein aansu ke saath Pagal itna chahta hai mujhe.

Aap Ka Mobile Bohat Acha Hai


Girl: Aap Ka Mobile Bohat Acha Hai Kitney ka Liya?

Boy: Race competition Mein Jeeta Hai.

Girl: Wow! Race Mein Kitne Log The?
.
Boy: 3 Police Wale, 1 Mobile Shop Wala Or Main.

American Kids on Eiffel Tower


American kids on eiffel Tower. "
Wow, what a beautiful view."

Indian kids on eiffel tower.
"Chal dekhte hai kiski thook pehle neeche girti hai.."
aaakkk thuuuu..!!

Ek College ke Kuch Ladke

Ek college ke kuch ladke Roz ek hotel mein jate aur Ek waiter ko khoob pareshan karte the.

Ek din unhe apni galti ka ehsaas hua aur Unhone waiter ko 10 rupaye Tip dekar maafi mangi, Sorry bhai Aaj ke baad hum tumhe Kabhi pareshan nahi krenge."

Waiter khush hokar bola

Thanx bhai, Main bhi waada karta hoon Ki aaj ke baad aap logo ki coffey mein THUKA nahi karunga.

Tragedies of Girl's Life

Tragedies of Girl's Life:
.
Good looking boys are not good boys...

Good boys are not good looking...

Good looking and good boys are married ...or commited

Good single boys with good looks are not rich...

Rich single boys with good looks already have MANY girlfriends.

Santa Train Mein ek Seat Par Akela Leta Tha

Ladka train mein ek seat par akela leta tha
.
Ek aadmi aaya aur bola:- bhai thoda side mein ho jaiye mujhe bhi baithna hai.
.
Ladka:- tujhe pata hai main kaun hu..??
.
Aadmi darr ke dusri jagah baith gaya
.
phir ek pahalwan aaya aur bola:- side mein ho ja chotu mujhe baithna hai.
.
Ladka:- abe oye tujhe pata hai main kaun hu.
.
Pahalwan ne ladke ki gardan pakad ke utha liya aur bola:- haan bol tu kaun hai.....??
.
Ladka:- ji main " Bimaar " hu.. 2 din se tezz bukhar hai.

Ladki To Maa

Larrki: Ammi main shaadi nahi karun gi or agar zabardasti tum ne meri shadi ki to ghar sy bhaag jaungi.

Maa rote huwy boli: beti maa ne bhaag ke tere abba ke saath shaadi ki,
teri khala or behen ny bhi bhag ke shaadi ki, tera bhai nokrani ke sath
or
tera chacha dhoban ke sath bhag gaya,
teri phopho sabzi waly ke sath
or
cousin doodh waly ke sath bhag gai,
tera baap 2 bar parrosan ke sath bhag chuka hai,
ab tu bhi bhag jaye gi to..

Hamari kya izzat reh jayegi,
kuch khayal kar.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Waheguru

WAHEGURU (ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ)ੴ
W = ਵੱਡਾ
A = ਆਣ ਬਾਣ-ਸ਼ਾਨ ਦਾ ਰਾਖਾ
H = ਹਰ ਇਕ ਦਾ ਸਾਝਾਂ
E = ਇਕੋ....ਇੱਕ
G = ਗਰੀਬਨਵਾਜ਼
U = ਉਤਪਤੀ ਕਰਨ ਵਾਲਾ
R = ਰੋਮ-ਰੋਮ ਵਿੱਚ ਵਸਣ ਵਾਲਾ
U = ਉਸ ਤੋ ਵੱਡਾ ਕੋਇ ਨਹੀ ੴ"Satnaam Sri Waheguru Ji"ੴ

Dost To Aadmi

Dost: Biwi se Jhagda Solve hua kya?

Aadmi: Ghutno pe Chal ke Aayi thi Mere Paas.

Dost: Kya Boli?

Aadmi: Boli, Palang ke Neeche se Nikal Aao, Ab Nahi Marungi.

Whats The Difference Between Like & Love

Whats The Difference Between "Like & Love" ???

Any answer..??
.
When You Like A Flower,

U Just Pluck It..!

But,

When You Love A Flower,

U Water It Daily....!!

Funny Definitions

Funny Definitions:-
1)Laziness?
Asking lift for morning walk.

2)Craziness?
Get blank paper xerox.

3)Honesty?
Pregnant women taking 2 tickets.

4)Dehydration?
Cow giving milk powder.

5)Fashion?
Lungi with a zip.

6) Hope?
A 99 yr old women purchasing a life time sim card.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Hard Fact About Youngsters

Hard Fact About Youngsters :
.
.
.
"They Are Always Busy Staring The Desktop Wallpaper Wenever Their Parents Enter Their Room''

HAPPY DUSSEHRA TO YOU ALL

HAPPY DUSSEHRA TO YOU ALL!

Wish this Vijaya Dashmi and Durga Puja brings Fun, Love, Peace, Laughter, Prosperity, Success, Delight to you and your Family.

May this Dusshera Light up For You

May this Dusshera light up for you.

The hopes of Happy times,

And dreams for a year full of smiles!

" Wish you Happy Dusshera."

Bechare Ladke

Bechare Ladke..:P
.
Ladki par hath uthay to zalim,
.
Ladki se pit jaye to namard, .
.
Ladki ko kisi ke sath dekh kar lade to jealous,
.
Chup rahe to begairat,
.
Ghar se bahar rahe to awara,
.
Ghar me rahe to nakara,
.
Bachcho ko dante to buzdil,
.
Na dante to laparwah,
.
Biwi ko naukri se roke to shakki mizaz,
.
Na roke to biwi ki kamai khane wala.
.
Aakhir Bechara Ladka Kare To Kya kare.........??

A Prostitute Was Arrested by Police

A prostitute was arrested by police and was asked what her profession is?

She said, “SOCIAL ENGINEER“

The cop asked what exactly does a social engineer do.

She replied 'i build and demolish ERECTIONS.. ' ROFL

Tumhari Umar Kya Hai


Boy to Girl:Tumhari Umar kya hai?

Girl:20 years

Boy: tum ne to 5 saal pehle bhi yahi batayi thi?

Girl: dekha ladkiyan zubaan ki kitni pakki hoti hain..

If Saturday and Sunday Don't Excite You

If Saturday and Sunday don't excite you, then change your friends...

If Monday doesn't motivate you, then change your profession..

Wife To Husband

Wife: (Gusse mein) Aapne bola tha bina reason sharab nahi peoonga..
.
.
Husband: Reason hai..
.
.
Diwaali aa rahi hai,
rocket chalane ke liye khali bottle chaahiye...

1 Chudail ne 60 Saal ke Shaadi Shuda Jode se

1 Chudail ne 60 saal ke shaadi shuda jode se kaha Main tum dono ki
1-1 wish puri kar sakti hun.

Wife > Main apne pati ke saath sari duniya ki sair karna chahti hun..

chudail ne charkhi ghumai 2 tickts aa gayi .

Fir pati se poocha tum batao kya chahte ho ??

Pati> Mujhe apne se 30 saal choti wife chaiye.. !

Chudail ne charkhi ghumai or pati ko 90 saal ka kar diya

Moral- Aadmi ko yaad rakhna chahiye ke chudail bhi aurat hi hoti hai.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Sun Rises in the East

Sun Rises in the East And Sets in West.

Fact: "Sun neither rises Nor sets its only Earth which rotates"
:-D
MORAL: EDUCATION spoils our common sense nothing else.

Maa To Beta

MAA: Beta Agar Meri Ankhein Kharab Ho jaye to tum kya karo ge?
.
Beta: Maa tumhein sheher le jau ga wahan ilaaz karwaonga .
.
MAA: Agar phir bhi theek na hui to?
.
Beta: Maa main paisay kharch karun ga tumhain Dusre mulk le ja ker Ilaaz karwaon ga........
.
Maa hass padi
.
Beta: Acha Maa agar meri Ankhein kharab ho jayen to tum kya karogi?
.
MAA : Mere LaL, main tujhe apni ankhein de dungi ..
.
No One is better than Mother!♥ !

Please take Care of Your Mother!♥ !

Friday, October 19, 2012

Ek Bacha Girl ko Kiss Karte Hue

Ek bacha girl ko kiss karte hue dekh leta hai.

Bacha: mujhe bhi karne do Warna main aapke papa ko bata dunga.

Ladki: Le yaar tu bhi karle,
Bacha kafi try karta hai,
Par wo height mein kam reh jata hai,

Baccha pareshan ho kar.
.
“Bhaar mein gayi duniyadari”

Jo kaam galat hai..
Wo galat hai..
Main to bataunga!!

Ek Indian or Ek American Dono Dost The

Ek Indian or Ek American dono dost
the…..

Dono ek din ek chocolate store mein gaye…

Waha sab logo ko busy dekhkar American ne 3 chocolate chura Li..

Jab dono bahar aaye to American bola:
"Man I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, u cant beat
that"

Indian replied: "You wanna see something better, let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing"

So they went to the counter and Indian
said to the Shop boy:-
"Do you wanna see magic?

" Shop boy replied: "Yes."
Indian said: "Give me one chocolate bar."

The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it.

He asked for the second, and he ate
that as well.

He asked for the third, and finished that one too.

The shop boy asked: "But where's the magic?"

Indian replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find them."

U cant beat an Indian :)
East or the west, India is the best;)

1 Car ki Nilami ho Rahi Thi

1 Car ki Nilami ho rahi thi

10 lac
20 lac
30 lac

...1 Aadmi ne Car ki kharab halat par gaur kiya to paas khade Aadmi se pucha:
.
Is Car mein aisi kon C khoobi hai, ki iske itna daam lag rahe hain?
..
Aadmi: Ab tak is Car ke 10 hadse hue hain or har haadse mein sirf or sirf "Biwi" ki hi Maut hui hai.
-
Aadmi: 40 lakh:-)

DRINKERS Movies Banate Toh

DRINKERS movies banate toh-

1)Soda Akbar
2)Sab Ne Pila di Thodi
3)Rum de basanti
4)Hum tight ho chuke sanam
5)Beer Zaara
6)Bewde Zameen par.

One Popular Slogan at Working Place

One Popular Slogan at
wOrking PlaCe:

"Safety First..
But WOrk Must.."
.
I'm Saying it in my wOrds:

"LOve Must....
but
Parents FirSt"

:-D LovE your PARENTS

A Couple Never Fought in 25Yrs

A Couple never fought in 25Yrs!!!
.
A friend asked - How did U make it possible??
.
Husband - We went 2 Shimla for our Honeymoon, While Horse riding.

My Wife's Horse jumped & my wife fell down,
she got up, patted the
Horse's back & said "Dis is your 1st time"
.
After a while, it happened again. She said "dis is your 2nd time" &
.
When it happened the 3rd time, she took out a gun & shot the horse.
.
I shouted, U psycho, U killed the horse.
.
She gave a grave look & said "dis is your 1st time". &

Since then we are very happy.

Ek Minister Ki Biwi

Ek Minister Ki Biwi Bahut Hi Sunder Aur Sexy Thi.

Ek Din Minister Ka Na jane Kya Mood Bana Or Usne Patni Ko Bulaya Aur Puchha.

Minister: “Sach Sach Batao Tumne Hamare Saath Kitni Baar Bewafayi Ki Hai?”

Patni Kuch Soch Ke Boli: “Ji Sirf 3 Baar”

Minister Man Hi Man Mein Khush Hua Ki Chalo Itni Sexy Hone Ke Baad Bhi Sirf 3 Baar Hi Bewafayi Ki,

Fir Bhi Usne Pucha
Minister: “Kab Kab”

Patni: “Ek Bar Jab Aapke Dil Ka Operation Hua Tha To Main shehar Ke Sabse Bade Dr. Ko Manane Gayi Thhi”

Minister: “Hmm”

Patni: “Agli Bar Jab Aap Jail Mein Band The Aur Rihayi Ke Koi Chances Na The To Judge Ke Pass Gayi thi”

Minister: “Aur Teesri Bar”

Patni Sharmate Hue: “Jab Aapko Sarkar Banani Thi Aur Aapke Paas 76 MLAs Kam the.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

A Engg. Student's GF Asked Him

A Engg. Student's GF asked him: kya exam mein 1 ya 2 baar back aane se degree ki value kam ho jaati hai???

Engg. Student ne apni pocket se 500 ka note nikala or pucha iski kya value hai ???

GF- Rs.500

Engg. Student ne use mutthi mein mod ke pucha ab ???

GF-500

Then he crushed the note with his foot & asked again....

GF-500

Engg Student jaanu hum enGineer bhi isi 500 ke note ki tarah hote hain, humein kitna bhi ragad lo hamari value kam nhi hogi:p

Agree??

Raavan was Killed by Ram

Raavan was killed by Ram - (R-R)

Kansa was killed by Krishna - (K-K)

Gandhi was killed by Godse - (G-G)

Verrapan was killed by Vijaya Kumar - (V-V)

Osama was killed on the orders of Obama -
(O-O)

- According to the deaths mentioned above, I conclude that Guys will be killed by Girls (G-G).

Be Careful

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Happy Wedding To Kareena and Saif Uncle

What is LUCK ?

Kareena Kapoor (10 year old) had attended Saif's marriage with Amrita singh in 1991.

Kareena congratulated the couple at that time and Saif replied :-

"Thank you beta"

This is called Good Luck of Saif
|&|
Bad Luck of Kareena..
.
Happy Wedding To Kareena & Saif Uncle...

Mere Paas 3 Gas Cylinder Connection Hai


Boy to Girl - i love you

Girl- shakal dekhi hai apni....??

Boy - shakal pe mat ja mere paas 3 gas cylinder connection hai.. aur khud ka petrol pumb hai.
.
Girl:- awww...I love you too.

There is Nothing More Expensive

There is nothing more expensive than a female tear

When a single drop comes out,

it first mixes with "loreal" eyeliner and "Dior" mascara ;)
.
then when it comes down to cheek....

it mixes with D&G blusher :)

and in case it touches the lips,,

it gets mixed with "Maybelline" lipstick
this means that a single dropis worth at least Rs.1500.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

RBI Should Declare

RBI should declare "Eclairs" as the new one Rupee and "Chloromint" as the new 50 Paisa..

saala har dukandaar chhutte ki jage yahi deta hai.....!!!

You Know I Broke my Engagement


Girl: You know I broke my engagement with Jay.

Friend: Why What happened?

Girl: You see, my feelings are changed completely
from what they were when I accepted him...

Friend: but why are you still wearing the ring?

Girl: Oh... My feelings towards the diamond ring are just the same !!!

Wish You and Your Family

Wish you and your Family Happy Navratri :)
Maa durga’s foot prints are entering your home & hope she stay there 4ever.

Happy Navratri :)

Monday, October 15, 2012

Beggar To Man

Beggar: Baba kuch de do bahut bhuka hu.

Man: 100 Rs. dikhate hue bola 50 Rs hai tumhare paas?

Beggar khushi se: G hai

Man: To Pehle woh to kharch kar le...

Reactions of KISSING

Reactions of KISSING in various Countries

America: - Kiss me hard !

France: - Kiss me Slowly !

In India
.
Jaldi karo koi aa jayega.

Student School Mein Gadha Lekar Aaya

Student school mein gadha lekar aaya.

Teacher: - 'O my god.! gadha Q laye ho :O
.
Student:- Aapne ek baar kaha
tha ke maine bade -bade gadho ko insan banaya hai.

maine socha iski bhi Life ban jayegi.. :p =)) :D

Student Rock Teacher shock

Aishwarya's Baby in School

Aishwarya's Baby in school .

Teacher-who is ur grand pa?

Baby-Big B

Teacher-who is ur mother?

Baby-Miss World

Teacher-who is ur father? .

Baby-No Idea Sir Ji.

English na Aane ka Nuksaan


English na aane ka nuksaan!

Boyfriend apni girlfriend se:
Darling Are u free tonight.......? ?

GF: Haramkhor! Free ke bacche Aaj se pehle kabhi paise liye hai
tujhse......?.?

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Aadmi nu Rab di Raza ch

Aadmi nu Rab di raza ch razamand hona chahida hai,

honsle naal sab kam ho hi janda hai,

bas honsla buland hona chahida hai.

Waheguru waheguru waheguru

Saif and Kareena

"Saif & Kareena's marriage invitation card would be read as...

"Second Hand Jawani"

WEDS

"Halkat Jawani!

When a Guy Adds You on Facebook


Dear girls -

when a guy adds you on fb it means he wants to b your friend not ur husband,..

that's why its called a frnd request not a proposal !!!. ...

and when a guy likes ur status he likes your status, has not trying to impress u or flirt with u ...

when a guy likes ur picture, that means he likes ur picture not* YOU* .. .

Enlarged version of the public service msg by
* BOYS * ...

go ahead nd make this ur status guys ...

let Them all know the facts.

Boyfriend and Girlfriend Room Mein

Boyfriend and Girlfriend room mein khamosh baithe they*

Gf ki soch :
1- Kyun ye mujhse baat ni kar raha?
2- Kya ye dusri ladki k bareyme soch raha hai?
3- Kya ye kisi or ko chahta hai?
4- Kya isne mere chehre pe wrinkles dekhe hain?
5- Kya mai MOTI ho gai hun!.
.
Bf ki soch : Yaar saala Petrol Kitna Mehnga Ho Gaya hai?

Guru Nanak Mera

Guru Nanak Mera___
Guru Nanak Tera___
Guru Nanak Rab Da___
Guru Nanak Sab Da ____
Guru Nanak Hirdia Ch ___
Guru Nanak Chogrdia Ch ___
Guru Nanak Sikh Panth Ch ___
Guru Nanak Guru Granth Ch ____
Guru Nanak Garib Da ___
Guru Nanak Ameer Da ___
Guru Nanak Othe Jithe Ohda Bhagat A___
Guru Nanak Othe Jithe Chalda Guru Shabad A___
JAppo SArey WAHEGURU =)
*.*.* waheguru ji ka"KHALSA" waheguru ji ki"FATEH" *.*

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Medical V/s Engineering College Students

Engineering and medical college principals argued that their students are fearless.
.
medical college principal called students and asked 2 jump in sea full of sharks.

Dey jumped
Principal said: see the guts
.
Engineering college Principal called the students & told them 2 jump
.
students: abe pagal ho gaya hai kya takle..??

Principal: see the guts..!!

Jatt To Sales Girl

MUST READ
JATT : Mujhe Dog Food lena hai.

SALES GIRL: Kya aapke pas Kutta hai?

JATT : Haan ghar pe hai.

SALES GIRL : Sorry! Store policy hai ke zarurat dekh kar item sale karo.

NEXT DAY
JATT :Mujhe Cat Food lena hai.

SALES GIRL : Sorry Sir pehle Billi la ke dekhao.

3 din bad JATT bag le ke store aya aur bola:
Bag mein hath dal ke sabot dekh lo.

SALES GIRL haath dal ke boli:
Koi Garm, Geeli aur Mulayum chez hai. Kiya hai?

JATT : Ye meri TaTTi hai, 0r mujhe aaj"TOILET PAPER lena hai..:P

LADKI Ki Shaadi Mein

LADKI Ki shaadi mein uska purana BOYFREIND b aaya tha.
.
sabi ne pucha kya ap hi DULHA ho?
.
Boy-Nahi main to semi-final mein out ho gya tha
.
FINAL Dekhne aaya hu. B-)

Friday, October 12, 2012

Ek Baar Pappu Bank Mein Gaya

Ek baar pappu bank mein gaya

Kamino mere ko A/C kholna hai..

Lady:- Tameez se baat kijiye,

Pappu: Tameez ki maa ki ankh, account kon kholega wo bata,

Lady manager ko complaint karne gayi.

Manager:- kyu batameezi kar rahe ho,

Pappu: Batameezi ki maa ki ankh, meri 2 crore ki lottery lagi hai, batao account kaun kholega,

Manager: arrey sir aap bhi kaha is chudail se baat kar rahe ho, main yaha kya aisi tesi krwane betha hun, plzz come sir .. PLzz

Paisa bolta hai boss :

If Aaliya Bhatt

If Aaliya Bhatt (Student of the Year Heroine) Marries Sidhartha Mallya
.
Then She will be called
.
"Aaliya Mallya"..

Thursday, October 11, 2012

A Good Life is When You Smile

A good life is when you smile often, dream big, laugh a lot and realize how blessed you are for what you have.

Stop looking for reasons to be unhappy.
Focus on the things you do have, and the reasons you should be happy.
Being happy doesn't always make us grateful, but being grateful will always make us happy.

In Soft Gleaming Night of Stars

In soft gleaming night of stars,

May all your dreams come true,

May every star of every night,

Bring love and joy to you.

Happy Birthday Big B.

Class Room is a Train

Class Room Is Like A Train

1st Two Benches R Reserved For VIP . .

Nxt Two Benches R for General Coach

Then

Last Two Benches R Very Demanded.

Bcz Its."SLEEPER COACH"

Exam Pattern

Exam pattern:

1995:Answer All Questions.

2000:Ansr any 5-Ques

2010:answer Either A (or) B

2015:Atlest Read D Questions

2020:Thank for coming

Wife Comes Home Late at Night

Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two!

She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

"hi darling", he says,
"your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom.

Hope you have said hello to them.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Bank Manager To Employee

BANK MANAGER: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA, RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"

EMPLOYEE: "All are born on government holidays...!!!

A Young Banker Decided

A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. As he tried it on, he reached down to put his hands in the pockets but to his surprise found none.
He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "You're a banker, right?" The young man answered, "Yes, I am."
"Well, whoever heard of a banker put his hand in his own pocket?"

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Dhan Dhan Shri Guru Ram Dass Ji

Dhan Dhan Shri Guru Ram Dass Ji Maharaj Ji De Parkash Gurpurab Di Lakh Lakh Wadai Hove Ji.....!!!

Dhan Dhan RAMDAS GUR Jin Siriya Tine Sawariya.....!! !!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Wats The Height of Hope

Wats d height of hope??

It is: sitting in d exam hall,

holdin d question paper in hand

and tellin ur self

"dude,dnt worry.

DSC Exams will get postponed!"

Two Boys in West Indies


Two boys are very good friends. Both are jobless and one day first one asks to other plz" help me to get some good Job. Other says, “OK, next time we will apply together.” and they do.

Both have received call letter for job but, the job is in West Indies.

On interview day, first one says, “First I will go inside and answer all questions except the last one, and after coming out, I will give you all the answers and questions. Then you go in and answer everything and You will get the Job.”

So, first one goes in.

EMPLOYER: When did we get Independence?

BOY 1: Efforts started in 1857, but we got freedom in 1947.

EMPLOYER: OK. What’s India’spopulation?

BOY 1: (He was not to reply the last one so he says) Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you, Sir.

Now he comes out and tells the questions and answers to other boy.

BOY 2 remembers all answers and forgets the questions. He goes in now.

EMPLOYER: When were you born?

BOY 2: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947.

EMPLOYER (Now quite upset): Are you mad Mr.?

BOY: Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you Sir.

During Marriage Ceremony

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse?

He is given his last chance to run away.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

When The Body Was First Made

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The brain said, "I should be boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs, and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.

So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.

Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral of the story: You don'tneed brains to be a boss - any asshole will do.

Big Boss 6

Bigg Boss 6 is started in few days and now the place for this is Lonavala. Now it is running 98 days. Area of Big Boss 6 is around 15,000 square feet. So youngsters enjoy the female participants of Big Boss 6.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Google Paid Homage to Neils Bohr

Today on 7th Oct, 2012 Google paid homage to Nobel Prize winner physicist Niels Bohr (Oct 7, 1885- Nov 18, 1962) who had contributed immensely to our understanding of atomic structure and quantum mechanics.

Teacher To Happy

Teacher- Chand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?

Happy- NEIL ARMSTRONG.

Teacher- Aur doosra?

Happy- Teri maa ki doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga.

Langda thodi tha woh:-D:

The Fast and Furious Childhood Moment

The Fast and Furious
Childhood Moment.....
.
When Guests Go Out Of
The House..

& U run Like A 'ROCKET'
To Eat The Things That was Served 4 Dem.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Ek Din Ek Ladke Ki Girlfriend


Ek din ek ladke ki girlfriend ka BIRTHDAY tha.

Boy was not in that city.

So, he ordered 24 RED ROSE for her girlfriend.

He called her up. Dear maine tumhare liye utne ROSE bheje hain jitni saal ki tum ho gayi ho.

While delivering florist thought:

Ye aaj ka mera sabse achha customer hai.

Chalo ise 10 ROSE FREE mein de deta hu.

So, he gave 34 instead of 24.

aur

aaj tak ladka nahi samajh paya ki uska BREAK- UP kyu hua..!

mohabbat Ki Sazaa Bemisaal Di Usne

mohabbat ki sazaa bemisaal di usne,

Udaas rehne ki aadat daal di usne,

Maine apna jab bhi banana chaha usko,

Baato baato mein baat hi taal di usne..

Thursday, October 4, 2012

yaadon Ko Hum Aaj Bhi Yaad Karte Hain

yaadon ko hum aaj bhi yaad karte hain,

har rishta aap par nisar karte hain,

fursat mile to kuch pal yaad kar lena humein,

hum aaj bhi aapka Railway Station par intezaar karte hain.

Wo Dil Hi Kya Jo Dost Ke Liye

Wo dil hi kya jo dost ke liye dua na kare,

aapko bhulane ka jurm to khuda bhi na kare,

rahegi hamari aur aapki dosti qayamat tak,

chahe aap yaad karein ya na kare.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

May the Lord Ganesha

May the Lord Ganesha Remove All Obstacles and Shower You with Bounties,

Hope Lord Ganesh Visits You With Lots of Luck and Prosperity.

Have a Great Ganesh Chaturthi Utsav.

What is The Meaning of Love



She ask me, "what is the exact meaning of Love?"

Then i tell to her, "which is doing only for our good that is not love."

So Finally its Over

So, finally its over.

The whole world needed run rate to defeat us.

They never had the guts to defeat us
'aamne samne'.

We won 4 out of 5 matches!!!

We made England and
Pakistan look like
chicken.

We gifted England their
lowest T20 score
ever.

We made sure that our
record against Pakistan in a world cup was intact.

We proved again that SA is the ultimate
choker.

We played like a champion.

We played till the last ball.
We rocked.
Bleed Blue!
CHAK DE INDIA ♥
India Forever ♥

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

I Am Not Like The One

I am not like the one which i am in past,

i feel different from my side,

the guy who is always smiling on every discussion,

now that is weep on every talk.:'(

What is Tension?

What is Tension?

1 cute girl want a lift from you,

on the way she is not feeling well,

and you take her to the hospital,

Dr. Said - congrats! You became dad.

Now, you are in trouble.

You told the doctor that i am not the father of her child.

And girl said to doctor that he is the father of her child.

Again TENSION

Then police came and check your medical reports.

Reports said that you never became father.

Again Tension

And you said," thank God" and left from the hospital.

Then you think that the child which is playing in my house, who is the father of that child.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Please Give me Your Diamond Ring


Girl 2 boy- please give me your diamond ring, i will remember you when i see it.

Boy-you can remember me by that "i want that diamond ring, but he cannot give me".

Student To Examiner

Examiner-Give me the name of this bird by description of her leg?

Student-i don't know.

Examiner-you are fail, What is ur name?

Student-see my leg and find out?