Monday, December 31, 2012

Rahe Salaamat Zindagi Unki

Rahe Salaamat zindagi unki jo meri khusi ki fariyaad karte hain,

A khuda unki zindagi khusiyo se bharde,

jo mujhe yaad karne mein apna ek pal barbad karte hain.

Happy New Year 2013

Happy New Year 2013

In The Universal Bank of God, God stores his blessings & deposited 365 days full of love, faith & happiness for you. So, Enjoy spending.

Wish U A Happy New Year 2013

Punishment For Rape

Punishment for Rape:

1) UAE- Instant Death Penaltywithin 7 days hanging

2) Iran- Instant Stoned to death/hanging with 24 hrs

3) Afghanistan - Instant death by bullet on head within 4 days

4) China - No Trial, Medical proved rape then Death Penalty

5) Malaysia - Death Penalty

6) Mangolia - Death as revenge by family

7) Iraq - Death by stone till last breath

8)Taliban - Limbs/ Legs/ Balls All Cut Off,&then stoned&then shot

9) Poland - Death thrown to Pigs

10) INDIA -.............. ­............... ­.............!
.
.
4 times gov food daily & 24*7 police security
for 7-14 years..!!! funny but fact.

Boy in Computer Exam

Boy in computer exam;

Examiner: What is Microsoft Excel ??
.
.
Boy: It is a new branch of Surf Excel to clean the computer.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Mahatma Gandhi Once Said


Mahatma Gandhi once said,"The day a woman can walk freely on the roads at night, that day we can say that India has achieved Independence". When countrymen don't protect their women, that country will never come up. The term Super Power is not in military strength.. it is about how we treat, respect each other.

Damini, May your soul rest in peace and we keep you in our prayers.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Pak Team To Irfan

Pak team to Irfan :
"Kameene tere wajah se match haare hain.

Irfan : " mera kya kasoor? maine to 4
over mein 20 hi run diye the.

Pak team : Haramkhor jab sher so raha tha to use jagana nai chahiye, tune hi yuvi ki tang pe ball maari thi

Irfan : sorry

Sidhu To Ramiz Raza

Sidhu's epic Hindi commentary today. 14 required of 2 balls.

Ramiz Raja: agar 1 ya 2 no ball ho jaaye aur fir six lag jaaye to Pakistan jeet jaayegi.

Sidhu: ye whi baat hui ki agar meri chachi ki munchhey hoti to main use chacha kehta..

A Sad Love Story

A SAD Love Story: Must - Read There Were Two Lovers Who Decided To End Their Relationship.

After Many Years When The Boy Got Married, Her Ex G.F Approached Him & Said: "How Dare You Use My Favorite Color As The Theme Of Your Wedding..! How Dare You Use My Favorite Flowers As Your Decoration! How Dare You SetThe Date I Proposed You As Your Wedding Day... & How Dare You Use Our Song For The Ceremony ??

The Boy Cried & Said: "Because This Is The Only Way I Could Pretend To My Heart That I'm Getting Married To YOU.!!"

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Most Awaited Bollywood Movies in 2013


Which Bollywood Film is your most awaited among 2013 releases ?

1-Dhoom 3 ( Aamir, Katrina )

2-Murder 3 ( Randeep, Aditi )

3-Bullet Raja ( Saif, Sonakshi)

4-Krrish 3 ( Hrithik, Priyanka)

5-Lootera ( Ranveer, Sonakshi )

6-Ragini MMS 2 ( Sunny Leone )

7-Ram Leela ( Ranveer, Deepika )

8-Sher Khan ( Salman )

9-Phata Poster Nikla Hero ( Shahid, Ileana )

10-Gunday ( Ranveer, Arjun, Priyanka )

11-Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola ( Imran, Anushka )

12-Once Upon A Time Again ( Akshay, Imran, Sonakshi )

13-Shootout at Wadala ( John, Kangna )

14-Namak ( Shahid, Sonakshi)

15-Bombay Velvet ( Ranbir, Anushka )

16-Ek Thi Dayan ( Emraan, Kankona, Kalki )

17-P.K ( Aamir, Anushka )

18-Special Chabbis ( Akshay, Kajal )

19-Milan Talkies ( Imran, Priyanka )

20-Zanjeer ( Ram Charan, Priyanka, Sanjay )

21-Ghanchakkar ( Emraan, Vidya )

22-Chennai Express ( Shah Rukh, Deepika )

23-Happy New Year ( Shah Rukh )

24-Satyagraha ( Ajay, Big B, Kareena )

25-Bhaag Milkha Bhaag ( Farhan, Sonam )

26-Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani ( Ranbir, Deepika )

27-Race 2 ( Saif, John, Deepika, Jacqueline )

28-Naam Hai Boss ( Akshay )

29-Himmatwala ( Ajay, Tamanna )

30-Siddharth Anand Next ( Hrithik, Katrina )

AND SHARE IT WITH OTHERS

Son To Father

Son: Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl

Father: "That's great son. Who is she?

Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"

Father: "Oh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.

Sandra is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later,

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!"

Father: "That's great son, Who is she?"

Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter,

Father:"Oh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister."

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: "Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I
can't date any of them because dad is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want.

Dont listen to him He isn't your father."
Son Fainted...!!!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Media To Shoaib Malik

Pakistan cricketers who dont know English,
prepare answers, after match for media asking.

One day after a match with Shoaib malik...

Media :"So Malik, thats fantastic, your wife sania is pregnant."
Malik:"Ya all credit goes to my team. Everyone worked hard for it, specially Afridi.
It was a tight situation when he went in. His performance was really fantastic with Razak in the middle. Also the crowd gathered to watch his work, our coach also have enjoyed it, they work hard day & night all credit goes to my coach & my teammates & special thanks to sania who supported me 4 this job "
Media speechless..

Couple Silent in Bed

Couple silent in bed...
Wife thinks : Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight at the wrong places?
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?

Husband thinks :
.
.
Dhoni ne last over Jadeja ko kyu diya.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Shaheed Udham Singh Birthday

A Very happy birthday to the legendary Shaheed Udham Singh....

Keep sharing this post..

TOILET aur CRICKET GROUND

TOILET aur CRICKET GROUND Mein Ek Hi Samaanta Hai

Guess What?
Socho.?
Nahi Pata?

Are Dono Jagah "DHONI" hai.

25 ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE

25 ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE!!!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate anti depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out chargecard.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything !

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12.You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

17. Help the needy, Be generous ! Be a 'Giver' not a 'Taker'

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. Time heals everything.

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed, Pray to God and Be thankful for what you'll accomplish, today !

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. Fwd this to everyone on your list to help them lead a happier life..

Monday, December 24, 2012

Chhote Sahibzade


Ajj Oh Din hai jis din DHAN DHAN SAHIB SHRI GURU GOBIND SINGH JI DE SATKAAR JOG MATA GUJAR KAUR JI nd SATKAAR JOG CHOTTE SAHIBZADE BABA JORAVAR SINGH nd BABA FATEH SINGH jina nu ajj pehle din thande burj vich kaid kitta C.

Dhan c Oh Nikke Nikke Komal Hirde Jihna ne Eni
Thand Vich Thande Buraj Vich Reh k Sikhi
Sidak Nhi Hareya ......te Apne Wal Jhati Maar k Dekhiye k kithe k khde hn Apa...

Ki bhora v Nikke Nikke
Sahizadeya di Sheedi nu Yaad kr k Aah Pei Rhi Thand Nu Mehsoos krde hoye kyu nhi Sikhi Sroop nal jurde.....

Ki Apa Nu Dukh Nhi Lagda???

Ja Fer Saade Lyi Kes Katal Kr K Rambo Romio banna Jruri aa??

MERRY CHRISTMAS

May all d Sweet Magic of Christmas Conspire to Gladden your HEARTS
and Full Fill your every DESIRE......

MERRY CHRISTMAS

When Sachin, Ponting and Lara

When Sachin, Ponting and Lara sit together for a cup of coffee,

That would be like The Avengers Movie for Cricketing world.

Can't Protest Online

Can't protest online (Sec. 66A) .....
.
Can't protest offline (Section 144)......
.
and then they said:
.
Welcome to India: The World's Largest Democracy.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

I See Myself when i See Sachin

"I c myself when i c Sachin batting.- Don Bradman(AUS)

"I want my son to become Sachin Tendulkar." -Brian Lara(WI)

''V did not lose 2 a team called India,
v lost 2 a man called Sachin'' - Mark Taylor(aus)

'Nothing bad can happen 2 us if v were on a plane in India wid Sachin Tendulkar on it.''-Hashim Amla(SA)

''He can play that leg glance with a walking stick also. -Waqar Younis (Pak)

''There r 2 kind of batsman in the world.
1 Sachin Tendulkar and 2. all the others .
-Andy Flower(ZIM)

"I have seen God. He bats at no.4 for India in tests. -Matthew Hayden (AUS.)

"Do your crime when Sachin is batting,
bcos even God is busy
watching his batting. -Australian Fan

GOD'S LAST BIG SHOT: An upper cut for six in the Asia Cup game between India and Pakistan at Mirpur, March 18, 2012. India won that game.
So, Sachin Tendulkar leaves the ODI stage on a winning note.
Go well, Mr. India! We'll miss you very, very much.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

I Heared Many ppl Saying

I heared many ppl saying that women are being raped because they wear inappropriate
dresses!!

Dear asshole, if that is the reason then, women are not supposed to be raped in winter.

They're fully dressed..!
No matter what a girl wear Those animals with human faces will
always act in human..

All they deserve is cruel severe punishment.. !

End of an Era

End of an Era...

Henceforth Cricket will be defined as:

- Before Sachin (BS)
- After Sachin (AS)

We Live in a Country

We live in a country where Terrorists are safer than our Women.

Govt. is ready to spend millions on kasaab and afzal guru's security,
but not a single rupee on their own citizens...
Shame ....

Earthquake of 10.8 r Scale

Earthquake Of 10.8 r Scale Has Hit South America..!!
.
Tsunami Of 200mt Recorded In Japan..!!
.
Volcanic Eruptions In Europe & America..!!
.
.
Thats What I'm Seeing In The Movie 2012..!!

Friday, December 21, 2012

21. 12. 2012

21-12-2012. If you think that today is the last day of the world,

give me your cash, property and all other assets as you wont be requiring them anyhow.

Shahidi Diwas Baba Ajit and Jujhar Singh

Ajj "Dasmesh pita" de 2 vade laal "Sahibjada
Baba Ajit Singh ji" te"sahibjada Baba jujaar
Singh ji" ....... Da shahidi diwas hai.....

Congress Sarkaar

congress sarkar....

New trend of shadi in Manmohan's govt..
Introducing 8th faira...
.
.
Vadhu Var se...
Mai vachan deti hu ki 6 cylinder mein ghar chalaungi.

Dear Americans

Dear Americans,

Whenever some of you feel disturbed, depressed and lonely;

please don't use your bullets to kill little
children.

Please come over to India, we have enough rapists, sadists and molesters to be killed.

And we have no guns and guts to kill them!!

When We Were Born

When we were born...,
A woman was there to hold us : A Mother...

we grew as a child....,
A woman was there to care for us and play with us : A Sister...

we went to school...,
A woman was there to help us learn : A Teacher...

we became depressed
whenever we lost....,
A woman was there to offer a shoulder : A lover...

A great woman was there for us : A Wife...

A woman was there to melt us : A Daughter...

A woman is here to absorb inn : A MOTHERLAND
Respect woman..

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Everyone is Talking About Gang Rape

Everyone is talking about gang rape and
punishment for those bastards because it
came out publicly.... But what about those
guys who date girls have physical pleasure
and then leave girls for another girl....
Isn't this a rape....
Silent rape....
A girl cannot even share this to anyone else....
Give it a thought....
And please stop!!!

Mother To Son

A Heart Touching Story.. Must read

Mother: Son I'm sorry.... I slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago. And that person is your real father.

Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this?

Mother: I 'm sorry he was my first love and I could'nt marry him.. 'cause we were of different religions. He's on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first time ever.

Son: No I 'm speaking to no one. Mr. Walia is the only father I know and that's that!!

Mother: Please don't be so upset. Just talk to him.

Son: Ok, I'll give him a piece of my mind!

Phone: Morning Son, I am Mukesh Ambani. I'm your real father.

Son: Maa ki Aaaannkkhhh...
Dad! Dad! Dad!!!
Thank God! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Thank God!!!!!!
Luv u so much Dad!!!!
I always knew there was something special about me..
Thank you soooo much Mum. You are the best mum in the world!

Moral:
Na Biwi Na Bachha
Na Baap Bada Na Bhaiya,
The whole thing is that Bhaiya,
Sabse Bada Rupppaiyaaaa..!

Upcoming Plans

Upcoming plans -

20 December - last night of the world PARTY
21 December - last day of the world PARTY
22 December - we are still alive PARTY
23 December - HANGOVER
24 December - Christmas eve PARTY
25 December Christmas day PARTY
26 and 27 December - HANGOVER
28 December - last Friday of the year PARTY
29 December - last Saturday of the year PARTY
30 December - last Sunday of the year PARTY
31 December - new year eve PARTY
1 Jan - new year PARTY

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Dear Deepika

Dear Deepika..

U went to Yuvraj, his form dropped.

U went to Ranbir, his movie flopped.

U went to Mallyas, their airline stopped.

Plz join Congress.. & Save India.

What is Indian Politics?

Child: What is Indian Politics?

Father: I run the home so I am government,
Your Mom is Opposition,
Our Maid is Working Class,
We all look after You,
So you are People
&
Your Younger Brother is Future,
This is Indian Politics.

At Night Boy Heard his Brother Crying as his Nappy was Dirty.

Boy went to Mother, She was Sleeping,
Then he went to Maid's Room,
Where he Saw his Father Having fun With Her Maid.
He Went Back to Sleep, Next Day Boy to Father:
Now I Understand Indian Politics clearly,
Government is F**king Working Class
&
Opposition is Sleeping,
People are Ignored
&
Future is in Deep Shit.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Bipasha Adopted a Child

Bipasha Basu Ne Ek Baar Ek Bachhe Ko Adopt Kiya Aur Apne Ghar Le Aayi,

Raat Ko Bachhe Ko Bahut Tez Bhookh Lagti Hai,

Bachha: “ Mummy Mummy, Tez Bhookh Lagi Hai, Dhoodh Pilado ”

Bipasha Basu: “ Arey, Tum Ab Bade Ho Gaye Ho, Ab Tumhe Khana Khaana Chahiye ”

Bachha: “ Chalo, Doodh Mat Pilana, Lekin Dikha Toh Do, Please…. “

The Awkward Moment in RAAZ3

The Awkward moment in RAAZ3,

when Bipasha removes her top in front of Emraan and tells him, "Meri aankhon mein dekho."

xx
Ab yeh kaisa mazak hai...

Monday, December 17, 2012

International Beer Conference

After an international beer conference in London, all the world's top brewery bosses decide to go out for a beer together.

The Chairman of Budweiser says, "I'd like the most refreshing beer in the world, 'The King Of Beers': give me a Budweiser."

The bartender takes a bottle from the shelf and opens it for him.

The Chairman of Guiness says, "I'd like the only beer inthe world worth really, truly waiting for: give me a Guinness."

The bartender serves him.

The Chairman of Carlsberg says, " I would like the world's best beer, drunk in more countries than any other: give me a Carlsberg."

He gets it.

Vijay Mallaya sits down, looks around and says, "Just give me a Coke."

The bartender looks at him, shrugs, and serves him.

The other brewery bosses laugh loudly and say, "Hey Vijay, how come you aren't drinking a Kingfisher?"

"Listen," says Vijay Mallya, "If you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I"
*******

Humble Request

HUMBLE REQUEST..

He has served us Beer when we were Sad & Happy..

Now he needs our help..
Please save Vijay Mallya..

Pls ADOPT at least ONE Kingfisher Air hostess..

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Great Confusion

The boss calls his secretary & says:"Get ready for d weekend, We are going on a business trip."

The secretary calls husband & says:"Me & my boss are going on a business trip for 2 days so take care of yourself"

The husband calls his mistress & says: "My wife is going on a business trip come home we can have fun"

The mistress calls the boy to whom she gives
tuition: "No tuition this weekend."

The boy calls his grand father:"Grandpa at last
we can spend this weekend together."

Grandpa (The boss) calls his secretary & says: "Business trip is canceled. I'm going to spend weekend with my grandson"

The secretary calls husband:"I won'tbe going"

The husband calls his mistress: "I am sorry My wife is not going"

The mistress calls boy: "You have tuition"

Boy calls his grandpa & says: "Sorry grandpa I've classes"

The grandpa calls secretary &....

Employee To Organization

A Private Employee Was Rewarded A Bicycle By His Organisation.
It Was So Beautiful But Didnt 've A Carrier at The Back,
He Requested 2 Get It Fixed.
When The Cycle Came
Back With The Carrier Fitted,
He Noted That
Now The ...Stand Isnt There.
He Asked About The Missing Stand.
Organisation: Private Naukri Mein 1 Cheez Hi Possible Hai.
CAREER Ya STAND.
Agar STAND Loge To CAREER Khatam Aur Agar CAREER Banana Hai To STAND Kabhi Mat Lena.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Vidya Balan Dirty Picture

Breaking News:
Vidya Balan's bra to be nominated for best supporting character in the movie "Dirty Picture"!

Vidya Balan Get Married

Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get married.

After marriage, lots of students gather at their home .....why??

because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)

Vidya Balan Dirty Picture Joke

Teacher to Boy: Kal absent kyon the tum?

Boy: Ma'am, aapke kehne par main ' The Dirty Picture ' dekhne gaya tha.

Teacher : Kya? Maine aisa kab kaha tha?

Boy : Ma'am, aap hi ne toh kaha tha, VIDYA mein mann lagaao..

Friday, December 14, 2012

Facts About Indian Cricket Team

What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Indian Innings.

Where do Indian batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements.

What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.

How to increase the chances of Indian batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?
Try giving them two innings to begin with, then try three and so on.

What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
3 runs in 3 balls.

Captain of India Says To Umpire

The captain of the Indian team says to the Umpire, "My players want to know if there is a penalty for thinking?”

The Umpire immediately says, "No."

The captain says, "Well in that case, we think you're an asshole."

Why India Lost The Match?

"Why you lost to England?"

Dhoni: How many time we will win? let other to win too! Waise bhi mere ko hotel jani ki Jaldi rahti hai.....

Sachin: Because we tied the world match, so here we need to lose na!...

Dravid: Why i shall speak? i had made 2 centuries.......

Laxman: This team is not the Australian team so we lost.....

Tendular Say After India-England Match

Q. What did Tedulkar say after the India-England match?
A. Shaken but not stirred ....

Q. What did Tendulkar say after the India-Pakistan match?
A. Massacred but not killed....we're not worried.

Similarity Between a Rainbow and The Indian Police

Do you know the similarity between a rainbow and the Indian police ?

Well, both appear after the storm has abated.

Joke on Indian Police

Ek Baar America, Japan Aur India Ke Police Officers Mein Behas Ho Gayi, Ki Kon Sabse Badiya Hai !!!

Akhir Ye Faisla Hua Ki Competition Rakha Jaye. To Competition Mein Ek Sher Ko Jungle Main Chorr Diya,

America Police Ne 10 Ghante Ke Andar Sher Ko Pakad Liya.

Sher Ko Phir Jungle Main Choda Gaya Aur Japan Police Ko Pakadne Ke Liye Bheja.

Japan Ki Police Ne 5 Ghante Main Sher Ko Pakad Liya.

Indian Police 2 Din Tak Laut Ke Nahi Aayi.

To Sabhi Officers Unko Dhundne Ke Liye Jungle Main Gaye. Jungle Mein Dekhte Hain Ki Indian Police Ek Gidad Ko Ulta Latka Kar Maar Rahi Thi Aur Bol Rahi Thi: “ Kabool Kar saale, Ke tu Hi Sher Hai "

Thursday, December 13, 2012

What's The Difference Between Bono and Mick Jagger?

What's the difference between Bono and Mick Jagger?

Bono is trying to throw his arms around the world and Mick Jagger is trying to throw his legs around the world.

It Doesn't Matter

It dosen't matter whether it's 10.10.10, 11.11.11 or 12.12.12 .....
.
.
Nothing can beat 36.24.36..

Think Hatke..

End of The World

'End-of-D-World ­' which was scheduled on 2012 Dec has been postponed to 3012 due 2 technical problems!

Plz co-operate & continue with Life.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Facts About Rajinikanth

If any Superstar Rajnikanth fans are reading this, Please don’t take it seriously. Just read and enjoy!!! Here is the ever expanding set of Unlimited Maximum Rajnikanth Facts:-
1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5. Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it’s cover.
7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
25. Rajinikanth never wet hisbed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking and he got what he deserved.
27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.
28. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revengeis a dish best served cold.
32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
33. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
38. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.
42. Rajinikanth electrocuted Iron Man.
43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
45. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in mans laughter.
46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris’ round house kicks.
50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.

Himesh Reshamiya Was Way Ahead

Himesh Reshamiya was way ahead of 12-12-12
he gave the world.
.
.
13-13-13 suroor.

Today is 12/12/12

Today is 12/12/12.

Its a unique date of this century and It will never come again.

Hope I am the first to inform you.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Teacher To Student

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a New England Patriots fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Pats fans, too.
Not really knowing what being a Pats fan meant, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, the students' hands flew into the air.
There was, however, one exception. Lucas was not going along with the crowd. The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different.
"Because I'm not a Patriots fan" he said.
"Then," asks the teacher,"what are you?"
"I'm an Indianapolis Colts fan," boasts the little boy.
The teacher asks Lucas why he is a Colts fan. "Well, my dad and mom are Colts fans, so I'm a Colts fan, too" he responds.
"That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"
Lucas smiles and says,"Then I'd be a New England Patriots fan."

Aisa Nahi Hai ke Jindagi Buri Hai

Aisa nahi hai ke jindagi buri hai,
Par college life ki abat hi kuch aur thi...
Aisa nahi hai ke ab hansi nahi aati,
Par dosto ke sath baith k khilkhilane ki baat hi
kuch aur thi..
.
Aisa nahi hai ke ab tension se raat na gujarti ho,
Par exams ki raato mein jagne wali baat hi kuch aur thi..
Aisa nahi hai k aage aakar kuch hasil na kiya ho,
Par passing marks lakar party udane wali baat hi
kuch aur thi..
.
Aisa nahi hai k jindagi ab kat na rahi ho,
Par dosto ke sath bitaye gaye lamho ki baat hi kuch aur thi.

Why I Hate CID

Why I hate CID...
Example:
LADY: Rahul Mera Bhai Tha
DAYA: Kya? Rahul Tumhara Bhai Tha
LADY: Haan, Rahul Mera Bhai Tha
ABHIJEET: Rahul Sach mein Tumhara Bhai Tha ??
LADY: Haan Sir... Wo Mera Bhai Tha
ACP: My God, Iska Matlab, Tum Rahul Ki Behen Ho ...

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Pyar Zindagi Ko Sajane Ke Liye Hai

Pyar Zindagi Ko Sajane Ke Liye Hai,
Zindgi Dard Badhane Ke Liye Hai,
Kash Koi To Padh Pata Meri Udasi Ko,
Ye Hansta Hua Chehra To Sirf Dikhane Ke Liye Hai.

L.K.G. Student To U.K.G. Student

L.k.G. Student :
your Slate is nice dude."
.
.
U.K.G. Student: don't talk nonsense.
This is Samsung Galaxy Note man!!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Husband To Wife

Husband: My love tum itni gulabi kyun lag rahi ho.....?

Wife: when your lovely words touch d bundle branches of the circulation system of my heart, it start beating faster resulting pitutary output to increase blood estrogen level, causing vasodilation and i look pink!

Moral: aur dhundo padhi likhi ladki......!

Teacher To Student

Teacher : Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773
.
.
Student : Thank God!! I was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would have died.!!!

Ek Daaku Lady Se

Ek Daaku (Lady Se):
Ye Saare Zevar Mujhe De De?
Lady: Le, Ye Le
Payal Le,
Jhumke Le,
Chudi Le,
Chain Le,
Long Le,
Sab Le Le.
Or
.
.
Aurat ban ja Kutte!!

Funny Love Story

Love Story:
1 ladka 1 ladki ko bahut pyar krta tha, lekin darr ki vajah se kch keh nai paya..
1 din usne decide kiya ki wo us ladki ko msg karke i luv u bolega,
Usne raat mein 'I LUV U' type kar k ladki k no. par send kiya aur so gaya.
Kuch der bad uske mob Par msg ring tone baji par usne decide kiya ki wo msg agli subah naha kar mandir jane k bad padhega aur phir se so gya .
Rat bhar wo us ladki ka sapna dekhta rha..
Jab subah mandir se lauta aur wo msg padha to usme likha tha
.
.
A/C balance is insufficient.
Main bal is Rs. 0.08.
Msg can not be delievered.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Catching Pigs

CATCHING PIGS ......(Must Read & Read Full)
There was a chemistry professor in a large college that had some exchange students in the class.
One day while the class was in the lab, the professor noticed one young man, an exchange student, who kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt.
The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country's government and install a new communist regime.
In the midst of his story, he looked at the professor and asked a strange question. He asked: "Do you know how to catch wild pigs?"
The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line.
The young man said that it was no joke. "You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come every day to eat the free corn.
"When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used tocoming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. "They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side."The pigs, which are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat that free corn again. You then slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd. Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity."
The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening in India.
The government keeps pushing us toward Communism/ ­Socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tax exemptions, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc., while we continually lose our freedoms, just a little at a time.
One should always remember two truths:
There is no such thing as a free lunch and you can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.
If you see that all of this wonderful government "help"is a problem confronting the future of democracy in India, you might want to send this on to your friends.
If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, then you will probably delete this.
But, God help us all when the gate slams shut!
Quote for today: "The problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are now outnumbered by those who vote for a living."

We HaD MaNy OPTioNS 4 SuiCiDe

We HaD MaNy OPTioNS 4 SuiCiDe

POISON
HANGING BY NECK
JUMPING FROM A BUILDING
COMING UNDER A TRAIN
BuT
We CHooSe 'ENGINEERINg'
TaDaP TaDaP Ke MareNGe.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Google May B The Most Powerful Search Engine

Google May Be The Most Powerful Search Engine But............ ­
.
Mandir Se Gum Hui Chappal Google ka baap bhi Nahi Dhund sakta !

Na Bag ki Parwah Na Subject Koi Clear Hai

Na bag ki parwah na subject koi clear hai,

Na job ka tension na future ka koi fear hai,

Table pe buks ki jagah kingfisher ki beer hai,

C++ ya java nhi chatting apna career hai,,,

yaha Einstine koi nhi yaha sab shakespear hai,

late night studies ki jagah filmo ke premier hai,

FIR b YARO HUM future ke ENGINEER hain..

Newtons 2nd Law of Ishq

Newtons 2nd law of Ishq

" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy
&
the direction of this love is same to as increament or decreament of the bank balance. "

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Boyfriend To Girlfriend

BF and GF were sitting in the Park....
BF : Heyyy.... Give me a KISS ♥
GF : NO..... Not before Marriage..
BF: Dont worry Dear.....
GF: Why???
BF: I m Already MARRIED.

Teacher Says to Student

Teacher says to student, In Algebra
A=B
And
B=C.
It means A=C.

Now give relevant example.

Student: Sir, I love U n U love your
daughter, It means that I love your daughter.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Genious People do Their Work

Genious people do their work taking very less time but fools take much time
,
,
such as teacher takes 1 year to deal with 1 subject;

whereas engg student did thinking 1 night before exam ...

we rocks guys !!!

1 Day I asked My Heart

1 day I asked my Heart.
What is Love...??

Heart Replied:-

Dekh bhai, apna kaam blood pump karna hai.....
Syllabus ke bahar ke question mat puch.

Monday, December 3, 2012

The Connection Between Indian Records

The Connection between Indian Records and Ravi Shashtri (as a commentator)
Here are Top most famous and Interesting moments in Indian Cricket When Ravi Shashtri was doing commentary -
1.When Yuvraj Singh Hit Six Sixes in an Over – Ravi Shashtri was commentator
His commentary during 5th and 6th Ball -
5th Ball – Fiveeeeeeeeeeee ­eeee yesssssssssssss ­ could he make it 6 out of six?
on the 6th ball – “Yuvraj must be favourite here, Kingmead on his feat here goes Broad and he has put it away, has he ? yesssssssss into the crowd 6 sixes in an over,Yuvraj Singh finishes things off in style first time this is happened in twenty twenty Cricket” !
2.When India Won the T20 World Cup 2007 -
comments- "In the Airrrrrrrrrr Sreesanth Take sit, India Wins"
3.When Sachin Tendulkar scored his Double hundred in ODI Cricket (Roop Singh Stadium at Gwalior on 24th Feb 2010) Ravi Shashtri was commentator -
his comments – “and he Get sit, First man on the planet to reach the double hundred and it’s the Superman from India Sachin Tendulkar ! OWWWW Take a Bow Master” !!!
4.When India Won the ICC World Cup 2011 -
comments – “Now Dhoni has chance to finishes things off and Dhoniiiiiiiiiii ­i finishes off in Style a magnificent strike into the crowd, India Lift the World Cup after 28 years and the party starts in the dressing room”.