Monday, April 29, 2013

A Woman is Driving 1st Time on The Highway

A woman is driving 1st time on the highway.
Her husband calls & says: "Be careful love,
It's just been on the radio, that some one is driving opposite to the traffic on the highway.."

She replies: "Someone..? These rascals are in hundreds.!!!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Teacher To Student

Teacher: what's the capital of South Africa?
Student : Cape Town
Teacher: Very good , now what's the capital of India?
Student : Rape Town..

Friday, April 26, 2013

Kya Time aa Gaya Hai

Kya time aa gaya hai..
Boys ke liye film bani to
" Ek Tha Tiger" =)
Girls ka number aaya to
"Ek thi daayan."

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Pappu To Girl

Two Girls were sitting at a club.
One was ugly and the other one was beautiful.
Pappu: walked straight to the ugly girl.
Pappu : Hi!
Girl : Hi!!
Pappu : Wanna dance ?
Girl : Yes (excited)
Pappu : Ok, go and dance, I wanna talk to your friend.

Its Very Easy To Say Busy

Its Very Easy To Say "Busy".
When Someone Needs You...
But Its Very Painful To Hear"Busy"
When You Need Someone...!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

3 Drunk Guys In Taxi

3 drunk guys enterd a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again.
He told them. "We have reached".
The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you".
The 3rd guy gave the drivera slap.
The driver was shocked, thinkin­g the 3rd drunk knew what he did.
But he asked "whats that for?".
The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME,
you nearly killed us!

3 Young Ladies Proposed a MAN

3 young Ladies proposed a MAN..
He had to choose one of them..
He tested by giving them
Rs. 5000 each 2 spend...

1st bought make up stuff & new dresses & said she wanted to look good for him..
2nd got him few expensive shirts & ties and perfumes & said she wanted him to look good..
3rd one invested the money, Got profit & returned him original amount,
saying that she saved the rest for their future..
Finally MAN decided to marry the Lady who was
The Prettiest
Moral: Men Will Be Men..

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Paani vargi Seerat Meri

Mainu Kehndi...
Paani vargi Seerat Meri,
Dudh varga Sohna Rang
Mishri to mithe Mere Bol...
Main keha,
Bas ik Patti di kammi rehgi Nahi ta Teri Chah ban jani si.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Never Forget Two People in Your Life

Never forget two people in your life....
The person who lost everything just to make you win.
[your father]

The person who was with you in every pain
[your mother]""

Friday, April 19, 2013

We go to School to Attend The Class

We go to school, to attend "CLASS" .
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Sleep Silently.
At home, we have to "STUDY".
S.T.U.D.Y. = Sleep, Tv, Unlimited-sms, Dota, Youtube.
in class, we're given "HOMEWORK."
H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K ­ = Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge.
while doing homework, we refer to "TEXTBOOK".
TEXTBOOK = TEXTing + faceBOOK...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Wife To Husband

WIFE:" JANU, Aaj Tumhari Girlfriend Night Stay Karne Aaa Rahi hai!
Maine Fridge mein Beer & fresh Fruit Salad banake rakha hai,
Room freshner side table pare hai,
Nahanay Ka Soap with lime fragrance or towel Bhi rakha hai,
Main baccho ko Leker Mummy Ke yaha Jaa Rahi Hoon,
Kal Sham Tak Aajaungi,
Program Mein Koi Change Ho To inform Kar Dena,
mein Wahin aur Ruk JaunGi.

Isko kahate hai..

EK HUSBAND ke haseen sapne.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Newton's First Law of AASHIQI

Newton's First Law Of"AASHIQI"

Every Aashiq Continues To Do Aashiqi Until & Unless A 'Tamaacha' Or
'Sandal' With A Velocity Of 9.8m/s Is Impressed
Upon Him By A Beautiful Girl..
This Force Is Called 'Beizzati' Which Is Directly Proportional To 'Sharmindgi' But Aawarapan Remains Constant!!!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Boy Insult Girl

Boy: How many apples can you eat in empty stomach?
Girl: I can eat 6 apples.
Boy: you can eat only 1 apple in empty stomach
bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that's not in empty stomach.
Girl: wow super joke I'll tell my friend.
Girl to Other Girl: How many apple can you eat in empty stomach?
Other Girl: I can eat 10.
Girl: pagal 6 bolti toh mast joke sunati.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Sir Ravindra Jadeja

S achin Tendulkar
I mran Khan
R ahul Dravid
R icky Ponting
A dam Gilchrist
V ivian Richards
I an Botham
N athan Astle
D on Bradman
R ichard Hadlee
A lastair Cook
J aques Kallis
A B De Villiers
D aniel Vettori
E J Chatfield
J ack Hobbs
A llan Donald
A combination of all such players
can make the great.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Singh Surmey GOBIND De Piyare

Singh Surmey GOBIND De Piyare ♥

Sikhi De Sitarey ♥

Khalse Di Dhan Zindagi ♥

Jina Sheesh Vi Dharam Uto Varey ♥

Happy VAiSAKhi

Story of Dog and Child

A dog was so faithful that the woman could
leave her baby with it and goout to attend
other matters. She always returned to find the child soundly asleep with the dog faithfully
watching over him. One day something tragic
The woman as usual, left the baby in the
"hands" of this faithful dog and went out
shopping. When she returned, she discovered rather a nasty scene, there was a total mess.
The baby's cot was dismantled, his nappies
and clothes torn to shreds with blood stains all over the bedroom where she left the child and the dog. Shocked, the woman wailed as
she began looking for the baby.
All of a sudden, she saw the faithful dog
emerging from under the bed. It was covered
with blood and licking it's mouth as if it had
just finished a delicious meal.
The woman got angry and assumed that the
dog had devoured her baby. Without much
thought she beat the dog with a wood to
death. But as she continued searching for
the"remains" of her child, she beheld another scene.
Close to the bed was the baby who, although
lying bare floor, was safe and under the bed
where the body of a snake was torn to pieces in what had been a fierce battle between the snake and the dog which was now dead.
Then reality dawned on the woman who now
began to understand what took place in her
absence. The dog fought to protect the baby from the ravenous snake.
It was too late for her now to make amends
because, in her impatience and anger, she had killed the faithful dog. How often have we misjudged people and torn them to shreds with harsh words and deeds before we have
had time to evaluate the situation?

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Wife To Husband

Wife: Can You Help Me In Garden.. ??
Husband: What Do You Think, I'm Gardener.. ??
Wife: Can You Fix Door Handle.. ??
... ...
Husband: What Do You Think, I'm A Carpenter?
In The Evening When Husband Came From The Work He Saw
Everything Has Been Fixed..!!
He Asked: Who Fixed This?
Wife: Our Neighbour But He Gave Me 2 Options..!!
Either I Should Give Him Burger Or A Kiss..!!
Husband: I'm Sure You Must Have Given A Burger..
Wife: What Do You Think, I'm Mc'Donalds?

Zindagi ke 5 Sach

Zindagi k 5 sach
Sach no 1 :- maa k siwa koi wafadar nhi
sach no. 2 :- gareeb ka koi dost nahi
sach no. 3 :- log achi seerat ko nahi achi surat ko tarjeeh dete hain
sach no 4 :- izzat sirf paise kihai insaan ki nahi
sach no 5 :- insaan jis shakhs k liye dil se
mukhlis ho wohi shakhs dukh dard deta hai

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Malkin to Naukrani

Nokrani se bartan toot gaya..
Malkin ne kaha:" Haramzaadi ye kya kiya tune ??
Bacha: Mumma ye" HARAMZADI kya hai ??
Maa: (Ye sochte hue k bacha gaali na seekh
jaye) isliye keh diya:" Sehatmand"
Agle din phir 1 or bartan toot gya,
Malkin ne phir se gali di:
"kameeni"phir bartan tod dia..
Bacha: Maa" kameeni kya hota hai ??
1 din bache ki dadi beemaar ho gai,
Bacha maa k sath dadi ko dekhne gaya aur
kehne laga,
Maa dadi pehle kitni "haramzaad­i thi ab kitni "kameeni hoti ja rahi hain ..

Husband Driving Car

Husband driving car at very high speed:" DEKHI MERI SPEED ??
achanak car band ho gayi...
Biwi hasne lagi :D :D :D
Husband:" kya huaa ??
Biwi:" kuchh nahi, kal raat ki yaad aa gayi..

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Man to Engineer

Never Mess with Engineers :
A man was seated next to a engg in an airplane.
D man turned to him n said, "Let's talk".
Engg : Ok, wat do we talk abt?
Man (making fun of d engg ): How about nuclear power?
Engg : Very interesting topic. But let me ask u a question...
Horse, cow & deer, all eat grass. Yet deer excretes pellets, cow flat potty & horse clumps. Why?
Man: I don't know.
Engg : Do u really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues when you don't know shit.
man shocks, Engg rocks.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

In Exam a Question Came

In exam a question came..
A parrot sits on an elephant and the elephant died..
Prove it.

Student answer:"
assume that elephant name was parrot and the parrot name was elephant..

Engineer to Doctor

Engineer Doctor ke paas gaya aur bola, "ghar jaane ki kya fees hai..??"

Doctor: 300 rupees..

Engineer: Chale ­ --Dr Sahab.. ??

Dr ne bike nikali, engineer aur Dr Ghar pahuch gaye

Dr bola mareez kaha hai.. ??

Engineer:"Maree ­ --z koi nahi hai pagal,

taxi wala 500 maang raha tha aur tu 300 mein le aaya..

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Kade Kade Main Sochda

Kade Kade Main Sochda,
Eh Zindagi Ki De Gayi Te Kee Lai Gayi,
Oh Ik Tufaan Wangu Aayi Te Hanju Ban Veh Gayi,
Kehndi C Intzaar Kari Mera,
Te Hass Ke Alvida Keh Gayi,
Supne Taan Aksar Supne Hi Hunde Ne,
Oh Supne Wangu Aayi Si Te Supna Ban Ke Reh Gayi..

Monday, April 1, 2013

Don't Read Success Stories

Don't read success stories,
you will only get a message,
Read Failure Stories,
you will get some ideas
to get success.