Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Hope That you Have


Hope That you Have Fantastic, Prosperous, Happy, Nutritious, Vibrant, Wonderful, Mind-blowing, Full of energy, Wonderful & Very
HAPPY HAPPY BRAND NEW YEAR 2014
maintain smiling..

Tortoise and a Rabbit Wrote an Entrance Exam

Tortoise and a Rabbit wrote an entrance examination,
Tortoise got 80%,
Rabbit obtained 81%.
Both went 4 admission to a engineering college,
Cut off needed was 85%.
Rabbit didn't get admission but the tortoise got admission.
How?
You remember when we were in the 1st std the tortoise won a race..
Sports quota 5% marks additional!!!

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Have a Jolly Good New Year 2014

Wish you a,
Jolly January
Fantastic February
Marvelous March
Awesome April
Magnificent May possibly
Joyous June
Juicy July
Perfumed August
Scintillating September
Outstanding October
Nice November
Delightful December
Have a jolly good New Year 2014.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Don't Curse Life to be Unfair

Don't curse life to be unfair to you.
Whenever you really feel like a loser..
remember that you have people who participate in Bigg Boss.

An Awkward Moment

The Awkward Moment..!!
When your texting prone on your bed,
& all the sudden your phone decides being ninja,
it slips through your hands & attacks your face.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Whos Aamir Khan???

Whos aamir khan???
The guy who cant walk in a thick pipe in the motion picture ISHQ,
is riding a motorcycle in dat same pipe.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Dhoom-3 Deleted Scene

Dhoom-3 Deleted scene:


In first scene John & Hrithik tell Amir :-


"yaar Bindaas chori kar,
Ye Jai and Ali aajtak kisi ko nahi pakad paye hain."

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Worst Part of DHOOM 3


The worst part of DHOOM 3 is not necessarily Abhishek Bachchan
not even Uday Chopra..
But Its Action and Stunts...!!!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Blue Eyes Hypnotize Teri Kardi aa Mainu


Blue Eyes hypnotize teri Kardi ae Mainu

I wonder Choti dress mein Thand nahi lagdi Tainu ??

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Smoking Effects LIPS


Smoking effects LIPS
Drinking effects WORKING LIVER
Love effects HEART
But
The most danger one is STUDY.
It effects the mind,
Direct komma
Avoid it & Get pleasure from.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Instead of DHOOM 3

Instead of DHOOM 3,
they could very easily have named the movie
'Aamir and 2 Idiots'.
That would possibly be better....

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Bitter Truth

Bitter Truth...

"Everyone would like to Park his bike in Shadow,
but,
Not a soul would like to Plant a new Tree".

Pappu To Boss

Pappu : Sir meri Patni mere saath baahar ghumne jaana chaahti hai.. chhutti chahiye..

Boss : chhutti nahin milegi........

Pappu : Thanks a lot Sir ji..

main jaanta tha,
musibat ke waqt aap hi kaam aayenge...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Kabhi Kabhi Mere Dil Mein

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai...
Agar zindagi teri zulfo ki chhav mein guzar jati toh...
Shaid Mujhe HOME LOAN lene ki zarurat hi na padti...

Monday, December 16, 2013

Agar China ke Paas Great Wall Hai

"Agar China ke paas Great wall hai..
Toh
INDIA ke paas bhi KEJRIWAL hai.."

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Meri Facebook Kahani

Kaal Raat Book Meri Taraf Dekhti Rahi,
Aur Facebook Mujhe Apni Taraf Khichta Raha,
Facebook Ka Jhoka Mera Man Moh Gaya,
Aur Kaal Raat Fir Ek Honhar Student,
Bina Padhe Facebook Mein Kho Gaya...

Friday, December 13, 2013

Mujhe Toh Khud ki Value

Mujhe to khud ki value tab pata chalti hai,
Jab customer care wale kehte hain-

"Aap ka call hamare liye important hai ,
kripya line par bane rahe''.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

No Matter How Older You May Get

No matter how older you may get,
you will always always be my little boy.
May God bless you with all you desire the most with life.
Happy Birthday my son!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Things to Learn From SRK Movies

1)Kuch Kuch hota hai: DOST SE PYAAR
2)Mohabattein: PRINCIPAL KI BETI SE PYAAR
3)Kal ho na ho: PADOSI KI BETI SE PYAAR
4)Kabhi khushi Kabhi gum: NAUKAR KI BETI SE PYAAR
5)Kabhi Alvida na Kehna: KI BIWI SE PYAAR
6)Baazigar: DUSHMAN KI BETI SE PYAAR
7)Pardes: PYAAR
8)Dil se: TERRORIST SE PYAAR
8)Main Hoon na: INSTRUCTOR SE PYAAR
10)Veer Zaara: Hindu hoke Muslim ladki se pyar,
woh bhi Pakistani
11)Chennai Express: DON KI BETI SE PYAAR..
Note - SRK teaches us the best way to manage risky love extramarital affairs..!!!
Arre haan, risky se yaad aaya,
The many risky love is...
12)Rab ne bana di jodi: KHUD KI biwi se pyaar.......

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

BF txt to His GF on WatsApp

BF text to his GF on watsApp...
BF- Hello
GF- Hello
BF- Kahan ho?
GF- Main apne papa ki BMW mein club ja rahi hu,
abhi driver mujhe club chhod dega,
uske baad nearby mall mein shopping ke liye jaungi,
tab tumhe call karti hu,
Tum kahan par ho?
BF- 401 no ki bus mein,
TUMHARI SEAT K PICHE,
TUM TICKET MAT LENA MaiNE LE LI HAI.

Who is Even Happier Than BJP and AAP Today?

Who is even happier than BJP and AAP today???

Indian Cricket Team.

Media isn't covering their disastrous failures coz of elections!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

One Day i Met Money

One day I met Money...
I said you are just a sheet of Paper......!!
Money smiled & said-Ofcorse I m a sheet of paper,
but,
I hvn't seen a dustbin around my life......!
Thats Attitude......!!

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Husband To Kidnaper

Wife kidnap hui aur kidnap karne walon ne uske Husband ko call kiya:-

"Agar aaj raat tak paise na diye toh tumhari Wife ka murder kar denge"

Husband khamosh raha.........

Agle din phir phone aya" Agar aaj raat tak paise na diye toh tumhari Wife ko wapas chhor jayenge!"

Husband:- "Paise bol paise kaminey,
darata kyun hai ?"

Friday, December 6, 2013

Dad Ne Beti Ke Room Mein Cigarette Dekha

Dad Ne Beti Ke Room Mein Cigarette Dekha..
Oh God, She Smokes
fir Wisky Dekhi..
Oh God, She Drinks
Fir Ladke Ko Dekha..
Thanks to God, Ye Sab Is ladke ka Hai.

Nelson Mandela

The Sun has been set!
Now the world is preparing to farewell one of the best human being ever born in the world...
You will forever be inside our hearts,
RIP Nelson Mandela!!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Different Types of Girl Friends

Different types of Girl Friends fighting with their own Boy Friends...
Pilot's gf: jyada mat udd samjha....
Teacher's gf: mujhe mat sikhaoo samjhe.....
Dentist's gf: daant tod k haath mein rakh doongi....
C. A's gf: hissab se reh samjha....
Engineer's gf: abey pehle paas to ho ja fir baat krna...!!!

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Mistakes Are Embarrassing

Mistakes are embarrassing when they happen;
But years later, you've got a collection of mistakes, called;
Experience that leads you to Success.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Sabse Keh Do k Main Aaj Bahut Khush Hun

""Sabse keh do k Main aaj bahut khush hun
Q ki..
Pichhli thand ki jacket nikaali to pocket se 50 rupey nikle..

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Engineering Student's Life

Engineering Student's Life is compared to English Movies
School: Jurassic Park..
Principal: King Kong..
Vice Principle: Hulk..
Teachers: Aliens..
Class Boys: Planet of Apes..
Class Girls: Charlies Angels..
Syllabus: Deep Violet Sea
Exam: Mission Impossible
Invigilator: Terminator..
Outcome: 2012.. (end of the world).